


Serious Business

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Serious Business [1]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Bondage, Choking, Crying, D/s, Dissociation, Emotional Turmoil, Emotional neglect, Face Slapping, Feelings Jam, M/M, Masochism, Miscommunication, Oral Sex, Predicament Bondage, Punching, Rimming, Rope Bondage, Sadism, Sap Gloves, Shibari, Slurs, Spanking, Tickling, Top Drop, rope, unhealthy dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 17:07:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Kink is, of course, the most serious of business.





	Serious Business

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lygerzero14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lygerzero14/gifts).



“Do you ever wanna try something more… you know… interesting?” 

Brian, his mouth wrapped around Arin’s cock, made eye contact, then pulled off.

“I’m sorry,” Brian drawled, wiping the spit off of his chin, “am I boring you?”

“I mean, no, you give, like, the best beej, don’t worry about that,” Arin said, one big hand on top of Brian’s head. 

“I wasn’t, until you said that,” Brian said. 

“I can’t even tell if you’re being sarcastic or not,” said Arin, and he prodded Brian with his knee, the head of his cock rubbing against Brian’s chin. 

It was sticky. 

“We’ve been dating for over a year, and you still can’t tell when I’m being sarcastic?” Brian mouthed along the side of Arin’s cock, which made the younger man go stiff, then slump back, his fingers tangling through Brian’s hair, tugging on it.

“I can’t think when you do that,” Arin complained.

“So?” More sloppy, wet kissing, one hand going down to knead at Arin’s balls. 

“So I can’t… defend myself or… _fuck_ , do that again!”

“What, this?” Brian fastened his lips around the spot right under the head of Arin’s cock, sucking on it as if he was trying to leave a hickey. 

That always got to Arin.

“I m-meant, more like… kink… stuff,” Arin panted. 

Brain pulled back, licking some of the pre-cum off of his lips. 

“You want to do D/s?” 

“It could be fun,” Arin said, a bit defensive. “I mean, like… we’ve done some kinky stuff, right?”

“I was there, Arin,” Brian said dryly. “I remember most of it.” 

“Only most of it?” Arin put on an exaggerated pout. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember all the details when I was balls deep inside of you,” Brian said, and he pressed down on Arin’s perineum with the tip of his thumb.

Arin shivered, and his cock twitched like a tuning fork.

“My ass isn’t memorable?”

“On the contrary,” said Brian, moving his hand lower, to squeeze it, “it’s incredibly memorable. Whenever I’m in it, I don’t remember anything else.” 

“But… that’s not the point of our discussion,” Arin said, in the tone of someone who was trying to find his place. “The point is that… we haven’t done much kinky stuff.”

“I licked chocolate sauce off of you and handcuffed you to the bed,” said Brian, just this side of defensive. “That’s totally kinky!”

“Well, yeah, but it’s, like, network television kinky,” said Arin. His erection was starting to flag.

“You want to be alternative kinky?” Brian sat back on his heels, disentangling himself from Arin’s thighs, just looking up at Arin, who was sitting in the big comfy chair in Brian’s living room.

“Well, no, just… maybe more actually kinky, versus just… shit you’d get at a Spencer’s Gifts,” said Arin. 

“You sound like a hipster,” Brian said, amused in spite of himself.

“Well, I’m just being honest,” said Arin. “Do you think you could go back to sucking my dick now?”

“I’m sorry,” Brian said. “I thought that wasn’t interesting enough for you.” 

“You are really fucking frustrating,” Arin grumbled, prodding Brian with his foot.

Brian smirked. 

“It’s why you like me so much,” he told Arin, returning to his spot, both arms propped up on Arin’s thick thighs, nuzzling into Arin’s soft belly. 

“I like you for a ton of reasons,” Arin said.

“Well, I don’t know about a ton,” Brian said, taking Arin’s cock into his hand and squeezing it, from the root to the tip. “But I can think of a few reasons, to be sure….”

“You’re being a cock tease,” Arin mumbled, as Brian began to suck again, swallowing all of Arin’s cock down into his throat and swallowed, constricting around it. 

He looked up at Arin, his big blue eyes wide, attempting to look guileless as he bobbed his head, his throat working, drooling down his chin, to puddle on Arin’s groin. He pressed his nose against Arin’s groin, and he rasped his tongue along the bottom of Arin’s cock.

Arin’s cock began to swell, and Brian fought the urge to grin - it would ruin his image as the big tough guy in charge.

Admittedly, he didn’t have to work very hard when he was around the likes of Arin and Danny, but still. 

Arin came down Brian’s throat, and he came hard, making a noise like he was in pain, his toes curling and his eyes rolling back in his head. 

“Fuck, Bri, you’re way too good at that,” said Arin, pulling back, his breath hard and desperate, shaking so hard that he had to hold on tightly to the chair. 

Brian made a big show of licking his lips, looking up at Arin and smirking. 

“See, uh, that? That’s kinda what I’m looking for.”

“A mouth full of cum is what you’re looking for?” Brian made a face - it didn’t taste that good. 

“Just… you being… super… you know. In charge. You know?”

“Use your words,” Brian said sharply. 

Arin moaned, and his cock, already spent, twitched. 

“Well?” Brian sat back, and he wrapped his own hand around his cock. 

“Well what?”

“Well, are you gonna use your words?”

Arin gave him a Look. 

Brian gave one back, and Arin shivered.

“How do you fucking do that?!” Arin sounded indignant. “You fucking… you’re sitting there groping your own dick, and now you’re sitting there making me feel all….” 

“Yes?” Brian pulled his cock out, beginning to stroke it, from the root to the tip. 

“What do you mean, yes?” Arin whined, and he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands. 

“I mean,” said Brian, “that you’re going to finish what you were saying.”

“Or else?”

“There is no or else,” said Brian. 

Arin swallowed, and visibly squirmed, trying to get comfortable. 

He was still aroused, clearly aroused, his chest rising and falling, his eyes dark. 

“I want you to… to make me feel… I want you to make me feel… small.”

“Small?” Brian began to stroke himself, his cock so hard that it was throbbing in time with his heart.

He was getting off on this. The power of it was doing… something.

Why had he never tried this before?

“Yeah. Like… like… helpless. Like a thing. Like i’m something that you’re just gonna use. Like I’m just here to make you happy.”

“What makes you think that I don’t feel like that already,” Brian said sharply. “That you’re just a thing that was built to give me pleasure? Since that’s what I use you for anyway.”

Brian’s cock swelled in his hand, as he began to get closer, his orgasm on the very edge of his nerves. 

“Yes, l-like that, please,” Arin said, and he was… he was begging. 

"Like what?" Brian began to concentrate on the head of his penis, thumbing the slit, spreading more pre along the shaft of it, rocking his hips up to meet his fist. 

"Like... like you think I'm stupid," Arin said thickly, and damned if he wasn't beginning to get something like a half chub.

Oh, to be that young again.

"I don't _think_ you're stupid," Brian said sharply. "I _know_ you're stupid."'

Wait, shit, no, that very much went too far. 

Way too far. 

"I'm sorry," Brain said, his cock beginning to go limp between his legs.

"No, no, don't be sorry," Arin said, and he climbed off of the chair, awkwardly bending over to take the head of Brian's cock into his mouth. Then he pulled off, a line of drool going from the sticky head to Arin's lips. "Please... don't stop. Please keep talking to me like that."

"Like you're stupid?" Brian leaned back against the couch, stretching his legs so that Arin could get between them. He wove his fingers through Arin's hair, and he tugged on it, hard enough that Arin moaned.

He had known that Arin liked having his hair pulled,but this felt... different. A lot more desperate, a lot more needy.

"You're stupid," Brian tried, although that still made something uncomfortable in his stomach knot up. "You're... you're not good for anything, except for a thing for me to put my cock into." 

Arin took the whole of Brian down his throat, and Brian moaned hard and guttural in the back of his throat, as Arin began to bob his head, using his throat as a thing for Brian to fuck. 

"Yeah, like that," Brian said, breathless, still holding on to Arin's hair. "Fuck, please, like that, oh god, Arin, that's...."

Arin was so _hot_ , wet and familiar but foreign at the same time. It was always a bit of a shock, enough to make Brian's head tilt back, as Arin made gross, wet noises in his throat, and Brian's cock began to thicken. 

"You feel so good," Brian said thickly, nasty talk falling by the wayside. "You're so good at this Arin, holy...." 

Sure it was sexy, and sure, it made him feel powerful, but... well, it wasn't exactly something that came naturally to him.

For all of his jerkass facade, he at least tried to be a nice guy.

For the most part.

To people who weren't Dan.

That line of thought startled a laugh out of him, and that was enough of a shock to his system that he began to cum.

Arin pulled back, and he closed his eyes, as Brian's cum spattered across his face, and for some reason that was hilarious as well, and Brian fell to his side, laughing and laughing. He'd make eye contact with Arin again, he'd start laughing again, and by now Arin was beginning to chuckle, looking confused.

"What's so funny?"

"You look... you look like... a fucking...." Brian laughed harder. "Like a cinnamon bun." 

" _What_?" Arin made a confused face, cum dripping down his nose to his chin. "Are you riffing on that meme?"

"What meme?" Brian leaned back against the couch, his head on the cushions, staring at the ceiling.

"You know, "so and so is a cinnamon roll." You see the kids on Tumblr pulling it all the time." Arin made a face as a drop of cum landed on his shirt, then pulled his shirt off, wiping his face off with a grimace. 

"I'm not hip with the youth like you are, Arin," Brian said, deadpan, and that got Arin laughing. 

"Well, it means someone is, like... too good. Too pure." 

"Is that why people keep calling Dan a cinnamon roll?" 

Arin shrugged.

"I don't get it," he said, "what with him being a grown ass man."

"Fans are strange," said Brian, and then he grinned. "Although they'd pay money to see the two of us like this."

"You think?" Arin raised an eyebrow.

"You never know," said Brian. Then his bright mood darkened. "I'm sorry I couldn't stay mean."

"It's okay," said Arin. "You're not really a mean guy, are you?"

"I can be," Brian said, and he made what he hoped was an intimidating face.

Arin rolled his eyes, and he came forward, so that they were chest to chest. He kissed Brian on the lips, and Brian kissed him back, tasting a bit of his own cum.

"You've got jizz in your beard," Brian told Arin.

"I wonder why," Arin said in an exaggerated tone of voice. 

Brian snorted.

Then Arin got serious.

"But, uh, would it be okay if I... maybe sent you some literature? Websites, shit like that?"

"Could you give me, like, a list of kinks, something like that? I want to know what I should be researching."

"What, you're not gonna use your newfound Dom abilities to read my mind and shit?" Arin made silly hand motions, like something out of Holly's Doctor Strange comics. 

Brian snorted.

"Using that logic, wouldn't I be able to read your mind from the get go?" Brian stretched, and he made a surprised noise, when Arin snuggled up to him, Arin's head on his shoulder, Arin's hand on his stomach. "Because domliness is supposed to be some kind of inherent built in thing, right?"

"I thought you didn't know about this stuff," Arin said, his tone mildly accusing.

"I talk to enough people in the scene to hear bits and pieces of things," said Brian. "At least, I hear my friends in the scene complaining about certain people."

"Ooo, "the scene." You sound very on the up and up." Arin's breath was almost ticklish against Brian's cheek, and Brian's back was going to hurt a lot in about five minutes.

"I'm the highest up and you know it," Brian said, putting on that voice that had gotten Arin so hot and bothered. 

Arin gave a full body shiver, clinging to Brian like he was lost at sea. 

"Fuck," Arin mumbled. 

Then Brian's back twinged, and he groaned, which rather ruined the moment. 

"I'm fuckin' starving," Arin said, and he stood up, his knees popping. 

"Give me a hand up," Brian said, and he staggered upright.

His pants fell down.

Arin burst out laughing. 

"Not helping the Dom image," Arin teased. 

Brian rolled his eyes.

"Just you wait," he told Arin, in that same Dom voice.

Arin shivered, but he was grinning. 

* * * 

“You’re unusually pensive,” Dan said, startling Brian out of his reverie.

“Hm? What?” Brian looked down at his plate.

His sandwich sat there, half eaten.

“What’s up with you? You’re usually not this quiet.” 

“Oh.” Brian cleared his throat, his hands on the table in front of him. “I’ve, uh… Arin asked me for something.”

“Yeah?” Dan reached out, a bit hesitantly, then wrapped his long fingers around Brian’s. 

They had been some flavor of intimate for a long time, but being upfront about it… that was a bit newer.

Dan was always a bit cautious about that kind of thing, but he was relaxing a bit more every day. 

Three months ago he would have just shot Brian concerned looked and tried to change the subject.

“You ever done kink stuff?” Brian picked up his sandwich, taking a bite out of it, more to occupy his hands and mouth than because he was hungry.

While it had been fun at the time, the name calling was beginning to leave a bit of a bad taste in his mouth.

He was all for fun jabs, but usually it was… a back and forth. Brian insulted someone, they insulted him back.

It was like flirting. 

Fuck, it wasn’t _like_ flirting, it _was_ flirting.

But here was Arin, just wanting to be… degraded, and well… Brian wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d been mulling over it.

“I mean, yeah, I’ve been slapped a few times, I’ve done some other stuff,” Dan said. “Is Arin interested in the kink stuff?”

“Yeah,” said Brian. 

“I mean, uh… I know a person,” said Dan, blushing. 

Brian raised an eyebrow. 

“What? I have friends outside our weird little circle.”

“Well, I mean, I know that,” said Brian. “You’ve always come off as kind of… vanilla.”

“How do _I_ come off as vanilla?” Dan sounded borderline indignant. “I dress in spandex and sing about boners!” 

“And I dress as a ninja and sing about boners,” countered Brian. “That doesn’t make either of us kinky. It just means we have weird career paths.”

Dan rolled his eyes.

“Do you want to meet my friend or not?”

“What does your friend do?”

“They run a rope thing, they also do some pro work, they’ve done workshops and shit about, like… different ways of hitting people with different things.”

“There are workshops on that?”

Why was Brian so surprised? He shouldn’t have been - if there were classes to teach you how to train a dog, classes to teach people how to give birth, classes to teach people how to make the perfect souffle, why not classes on how to hit someone without, presumably, hurting them too badly?

“Yeah, they have them at their house,” said Dan. 

“Am I gonna have to… pay anything?”

“I mean, it’s not like, some kind of sex work thing,” Dan said quickly. “I mean, like… maybe it’s kinda sex work, but it’s the kind of sex work where you probably won’t give you shit about it, if you get questioned by the cops. I mean, they will give you shit, because it’s still kinda… weird, but they won’t be able to arrest you. Theoretically.”

“Theoretically be unable to arrest me?”

“Yeah,” said Dan. “Like… you know this shit can be dangerous, right? Reputation wise.”

Brian made a face.

“I did know that, yes,” Dan said dryly. “Did you forget that I was in England?”

“What’s England have to do with anything?”

“They banned almost all porn deemed to be “violent”?” 

“... oh yeah. I forgot about that.”

“But things are a lot more… calm here, right?”

“I mean, we’re part of Ninja Sex Party,” Dan said, and he leaned back in his chair, laughing nervously. “If anyone asks, you could just say that you’re practicing for the a video or something like that.”

“Is that the excuse you use for when you go to the sex shops?” 

Dan snorted. 

“I order everything online, thank you very much,” said Dan. 

“Well, yeah, these days. But in the old days….”

“In the old days we had to walk uphill in the snow both ways to get our dildos,” said Dan.

“You were buying dildos?” Brian raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t even put a pinky up your ass before you and I got together. Judging by the way you came the first time I -” 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Dan said quickly. “That’s not what we’re talking about.”

“So what are we talking about?”

“We’re talking about the fact that things are different from the old days and we can do it online.”

“Except, apparently, learning how to tie people up or whatever other weird kinky shit you’re planning,” said Dan.

“I mean, I could learn that stuff from the internet,” said Dan, “but, like… I want to learn how to do it _properly_ , so I don’t fuck it up too badly.” 

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Permanent nerve damage, possibly taking out an eye, maybe permanently fucking something up in some way that I haven’t even begun to think about,” Brian said promptly. 

"... wow, you must be fun at parties," said Dan. "Always thinking the worst scenario!"

"You've been to parties with me," said Brian. "I'm plenty fun."

"Well... I can introduce you to Ariel," said Dan, and he reached out for Brian's hands, taking them in his own huge fingers, kissing Brian's knuckles. "But for now... how about I rock your world?"

"How are you planning on doing that, exactly?" Brian raised an eyebrow, attempting to look skeptical, but grinning in spite of himself. 

"I have my ways," said Dan, waggling his eyebrows. 

Brian snorted, and he was smiling as he kissed Dan. 

* * * 

Dan was crouching over Brian, holding the cheeks of Brian's ass open, and he was licking Brian, from his balls to his hole, then jabbing his tongue inside, and kneading at Brian's hips. 

It was... Dan was too fucking good with his tongue, it was really, really _not_ fair, no one human should be gifted that much tongue ability.

He was gibbering inside of his head, disappearing into the circle of his thoughts, and no, that wasn't fair, not when Dan was putting so much effort into making him feel good, he had to... he had to enjoy it.

Brian made a conscious effort to turn his brain off, spreading his knees wider, pressing his face into the sheets, humping against Dan's mouth as one long finger slid in to join Dan's tongue, and then it was curving, and then it was... it was....

"Whoa!" 

Dan pulled back, and he was laughing, as Brian shook and shuddered against him.

"I need... a breather," Brian murmured, and Dan withdrew, carefully, leaving Brian to collapse face first onto the bed, breathing heavily.

It was a dry orgasm, and it _hurt_ with its intensity, leaving him shuddering and gasping, flat on his back and wriggling like a landed fish. 

Dan sprawled out between Brian's spread legs, resting his whiskery chin on one thigh, and he was grinning. 

"How was that?" Dan didn't even try to keep the smugness out of his voice. "Does your world feel sufficiently rocked?"

"It could be more rocked," Brian said, wrapping his hand around his still hard cock. "If you could fit it into your busy schedule."

"I can always fit you into my schedule," Dan said, and there was enough tenderness in his voice that something in Brian's chest tightened, almost to the point of pain. "So what would you like?"

"How about you resheathe Excalibur?" 

Dan snorted. 

"When you talk about it like that, it sounds goofy," he complained, but he pulled his pants down and open, taking his dick in hand and squeezing it. 

"I'm sorry," Brian said, deadpan. "I didn't mean to make light of your penis, which you literally named after a mythological sword."

"I named it after a _legendary_ mythological sword," Dan said, standing up with his pants around his ankles and grabbing for the lube. "Get it right!" 

"Mythological and legendary are the same thing," Brian said, as Dan lubed his dick up, then began to slide his fingers into Brian's ass. 

"Technically... not," Dan murmured, not really paying attention to whatever it was that Brian was saying. 

"Are you just arguing with me for the sake of arguing?"

"I'm trying to get your ass ready for the glorious pounding I'm about to give it," Dan said, a bit of annoyance crowding onto the edge of his voice.

Brian smirked - needling Dan was one of his favorite things to do, ever.

And then Dan curled his fingers in just the right way, and that was... another one of his favorite things, ever, and when the fingers were withdrawn and the thick head of Dan's cock was pressing into him, he was in some kind of heaven.

Well, a heaven he didn't believe in, but regardless. 

"Fuck, Bri," Dan panted, and his hands were on Brian's shoulders, squeezing them, and that would be gross (Dan hadn't washed his hands, and his fingers were still sticky with lube) but it wasn't, it was... really hot, everything was really hot, it was enough to make Brian's eyes roll back in his head as he took it, his own cock twitching against his belly like it was being electrocuted. 

"Fuck," Brian said, and some part of him wished he was better with words - that he could turn the feelings coursing through him into actual concepts, that he could use his prestigious vocabulary to make words - to make _music_ out of the intensity of the feeling but... well, nothing doing. 

Apart from him.

He was being done. 

"... why are you laughing?" Dan looked nonplussed, although his hips didn't stop moving as he fucked Brian.

"I'll... explain later," Brian said thickly, spreading his legs wider and digging his heels into Dan's lower back, raising his hips up to meet each of Dan's strokes.

"Is my dick that funny?"

"I mean, all dicks are funny," Brian said. "We've... made a career out of that, haven't we?"

Dan grinned. 

"True," he agreed, and then he was leaning forward, kissing Brian on the mouth, a sweet, deep kiss, and Dan's stubble caught on Brian's own stubble, leaving their skin tender and pink. 

One of Dan's hands moved down, and he squeezed Brian's cock, beginning to stroke it, and Brian's abdominal muscles flexed in time with it, in time with Dan's thrusts. 

"Fuck, Bri, you feel so fucking good, I can't... believe it, holy shit, I'm... oh... _fuck_ ," Dan gasped, and then he was cumming, deep and hard, his knees shaking, his thighs like marble. 

He kept stroking Brian through it, and then Brian was cumming as well, his orgasm hitting him in the back of the head like a burglar. 

Brian could feel his toes curling, his skin flushing, his cock twitching, all of it - but it was all far off, happening to someone else. There were just muscle contractions, sweet, cold pleasure dripping out of him, pooling in his extremities, leaving him panting and helpless as he lay under Dan and shook. 

"Holy shit," Dan said, and he laughed, breathless. "That was fucking... holy fuck."

Brian grinned, and he kissed whatever he could reach. 

Which turned out to be Dan's ear, which made Dan recoil, rubbing aforementioned body part.

"Jesus dude, _ow_!" 

"Sorry," said Brian, although he wasn't. 

Dan licked his nose. 

"Ew!" 

"At least you can still hear," Dan said, a little louder than normal, no doubt for the look of it.

Brian prodded him in the side.

Dan prodded him back. 

"So when can I meet your friend?"

"Which friend?"

"Your kinky friend." 

"Which kinky friend? I know a lot of them." 

"The one who was gonna teach me how to be a proper dominant."

"Oh, Ariel! I'll give you their number, you can call them whenever."

"Thanks," said Brian.

Despite the orgasm, there was a slightly... foreboding building in the back of his mind.

What if he did this wrong? What if he disappointed Arin? 

But fuck it. 

Right now, he would enjoy the warm body on top of his own. 

* * * 

Ariel turned out to be very easy to get into contact with - they even agreed to meet up with Brian for coffee. 

Arin seemed surprised, when Brian brought it up.

"You're seriously gonna like... talk to a professional?"

"Well, I mean, why not?" Why was Brian feeling so defensive? "Stuff could go wrong, and I'd rather ensure that it doesn't."

"I guess?" Arin shrugged, leaning against the table in the middle of the Grump Space.

Everyone else was having lunch, and they had a few minutes to themselves. 

"Would you rather I didn't?" 

"Oh, no, not at all," said Arin. He laughed, clearly self conscious. "I'm just kinda... surprised. I didn't think you'd take it so seriously, you know?"

"Arin," Brian said, "you know me." He smiled, wide and with too many teeth, mainly for the look of it. "Do I do anything in half measures?"

"Well, no," said Arin, and he laughed. "I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, huh?"

Brian kissed him, and he was smiling as their lips met. 

* * * 

Ariel was a tall, white person of indeterminate gender, with a long face, auburn curly hair, and a slightly severe expression. They had a tattoo of a long, branching tree on their right arm, going all the way down to the top of their hand.

"So, uh, how do you know Danny?" Brian smiled at them, hoping to look friendly and as nonthreatening as possible. 

Considering they were a good foot taller than he was, it felt a bit counterintuitive, but that tended to be Brian's way of dealing with intimidating people.

"We met at a shoot a long time ago," said Ariel. "We had a friend in common, and he agreed to let me tie him up for an art thing." They smiled fondly. "He's got a body made for rope."

"He really does," said Brian, because he'd never really thought about that - he'd always been pretty happy with doing things the old fashioned way, with hands and dicks and mouths and the occasional dildo - but now that he thought about it... well, it was true.

But then again, thinking about Arin covered in rope was... well, it was pretty fucking appealing. 

Brian cleared his throat. 

"I've got a new partner, and he's interested in... D/s things, and he's interested in being beaten up, and also being being tied up." Brian kept his voice low, so as not to attract the notice of the other people in the coffee shop.

"And you want me to do that for him?" 

"No, I was wondering if you'd be willing to teach me how to do those things." 

"That would be simple enough," said Ariel. "Although of course, I wouldn't be doing it for free."

"Oh, no, obviously not," Brian said quickly. "I figure I could have a few sessions, you could teach me how to tie knots and have the right... dominant attitude?"

"That is totally doable," said Ariel, and they smiled. "When would you like to get started?"

"If I write you a check right now, could we get started?" 

It was a Saturday. It wasn't like he was doing much of anything else. 

He had a date with Arin tomorrow, and it would be fun to surprise him. 

"Certainly," said Ariel. "Although... do you know what it is that your submissive would be interested in?"

"He said he wanted to feel small and helpless," said Brian. "And like he's just a thing."

"That is doable with rope," Ariel agreed. "Does he have any interest in impact play?"

"I assume impact play is hitting someone," Brian said.

"Indeed," said Ariel. 

"I'll ask him about that," said Brian. "But perhaps... we could have multiple sessions?"

Ariel nodded.

* * * 

"The first thing you need to know how to do," Ariel said, some time later, "is to make a basic harness." 

The two of them were standing in the middle of their apartment. There was a large assortment of brightly colored rope coiled on the floor, and Ariel was holding up a purple bundle. 

"I know a few knots," Brian allowed.

"How about I tie you up first," Ariel said, "so you can get a feel for what it's supposed to feel like. Then you can practice on me."

Brian nodded. 

He wasn't wearing a shirt, or any shoes. 

It felt odd, to be here, half naked with someone he had just met, but it was so... unsexy, which was strange, considering the fact that he was learning how to tie someone up in a sexy manner. 

Ariel worked silently, instructing to put his arms here, his hands there. 

He ended up wearing what Ariel called a chest harness, a webbing or rope that felt a bit like wearing a vest. 

The rope was cool, and the color stood out enough that it almost gave him a headache. 

"Now," said Ariel, after they had finished, "do you understand what this is supposed to feel like?" 

“I think so,” Brian said slowly. 

The rope was calming, in a strange way. 

“Now I’m going to untie you,” said Ariel. “Nicely. But if you’d like, I can teach you how to untie someone sadistically as well.”

“How would you untie someone sadistically?” Brian raised an eyebrow.

Ariel smiled with too many teeth.

They looked a bit like a shark. 

“Friction,” was all they said, and Brian shivered. 

Yeah. 

That would be pretty damn sadistic. 

“Now you tie me,” said Ariel, “and I can critique your technique as we go along.”

* * * 

Brian was pretty good at tying, it turned out. 

He was adding the finishing touches to the harness when the joke occurred to him, and he was snickering. 

“What’s so funny?” Ariel raised an eyebrow. 

“I’ve got a PhD in theoretical physics,” Brian said. “So… we could argue that this is just the practical applications of string theory.”

Ariel didn’t laugh, and Brian’s own laughter died down. 

“If you want to be a good Dominant,” Ariel said, “you need to be serious.”

“Really?”

Brian wasn’t sure he agreed with that - all of the sex he had was silly, full of laughter and bad jokes. 

But then again, sex is a lot different from kink, judging by the writings that Arin had sent him. 

This shit was… serious. 

So he schooled his face to seriousness, and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” said Brian.

“It’s alright,” said Ariel. “Just remember… when you have your submissive under your power, they, in fact, have all the power.”

It was Brian’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Kink is all about making the submissive feel good. The submissive to get everything they want, everything they need. You are a means for them to get what it is that they want. It’s your job to be calm, to be in control, to fulfill their needs.”

That… didn’t actually seem like that much fun. If he wanted to cater to someone else’s needs to that extent, he could babysit. 

But he did like to make Arin happy, and he could probably ask Arin to do something for him like this some time, right?

Although fuck if he knew what kind of something that would be. 

“You are as much of a thing as he is,” said Ariel. “You work hard to make him feel good. You work hard to make him happy. That’s what you exist to do, as a Dom.” 

“What about my pleasure?” 

“You get your pleasure from being in control,” Ariel said sharply. “You get your pleasure from giving. Otherwise you’re not a real Dom, you’re just a… hobbyist.” They practically spat the last word out. “How is he supposed to feel small and like a thing to be used, if you’re cracking jokes?”

“... oh,” said Brian. 

He flushed, his face turning bright red, and he bit his lip. 

“Understood?”

“Understood.”

“So you want to go over that harness again?” 

“Sounds good.”

* * * 

“So how was your kinky lesson?” Arin sprawled out on the couch, watching as Brian detangled the rope. 

“It was pretty good,” Brian said. “Would you want to try out a simple scene before we actually do the… more intense stuff?”

“You could spank me and tie me up and dirty talk me,” Arin said, his tone a bit too eager. He was squirming, pressing his knees together and licking his lips. “Or… you could hit me with something else, if you’d like…” 

_Your job is to make him feel good,_ Brian reminded himself, rubbing his own hands together. 

“I don’t have anything to hit you with,” Brian said. “Maybe we could get some stuff together? Or you could bring me stuff that you’d like me to hit you with?”

“Sounds good,” Arin said, and he grinned. “What should I…?”

Brian took a deep breath, trying to still his mind.

Okay. 

“Sit on the floor,” Brian said, slowly and carefully. 

“Right.” 

“Sir,” said Brian. 

“What?”

“When I’m tying you up, you’re calling me Sir.”

“Right. Yes. Erm, yes sir.” 

“Do you remember the safe words?”

“Red is stop. Yellow is pause. Green is good.”

“Very good.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Thanks, who?”

“Thank you, Sir.”

* * * 

Brian kept quiet as he sorted out his rope. He kept his breathing even and calm, and every time Arin tried to ask a question, Brian shushed him. 

Arin wanted Brian to be mean? 

Brian could be mean.

But he needed quiet. 

* * * 

The rope was pink - he’d gotten it especially for Arin, because what’s the point of buying pretty rope, if not for the sake of the one you’re tying up? 

Although he’d never tell Arin that. 

It kind of ruined the big tough Dom look, didn’t it?

But now Arin was sitting on the floor, looking… well, looking lovely. The harness was around his chest, across his nipples, and every time he shifted positions, there was a little gasp, the friction getting to him. 

“Get on your knees,” Brian said. 

“It’s kinda hard, with my hands tied behind my -”

“I said, get on your knees,” Brian said, and he grabbed the harness. 

He shoved Arin onto his belly, and there was a moment of panic, but no, Arin was moaning and wriggling. 

Brian grabbed a handful of ass through Arin’s boxers shorts - he probably should have had Arin take them off before they had started this.

Oh well. At least Arin was shirtless.

Brian leaned on Arin’s back, his elbow in the middle of it, and he took a handful of ass, squeezing it through the thin cotton.

Arin shivered under him, like a beast. 

Brian drew his hand back, and he slapped Arin’s ass.

It was funny - he’d slapped Arin on the ass in the past, as a joke - he was almost as bad as Dan was, in terms of hitting people’s butts. 

But this was… this was charged.

Maybe it was the desperate little noise that Arin made, or the way that he squirmed under Brian. 

Brian’s own dick was getting hard, and he felt the beginning of some kind of… energy, flowing through him.

… huh. 

That was not what he expected.

Arin moaned again, and he was wriggling.

Brian slapped him again, harder, a bit lower this time.

Crap. 

He probably should have done some research on where it was actually _safe_ to hit on someone’s ass, since he didn’t want to do any kind of real, lasting damage.

So he slapped Arin again, harder this time, in the exact same spot, and Arin…. 

Arin moaned like he was being paid for it, wriggling, his legs spreading wider.

He was full on humping forward, his eyes squeezing shut, his breath coming in deep, gasping pants. 

Brian drew his hand back, Arin again, harder this time, hard enough to make his palm sting, and that was... kind of uncomfortable, actually.

His hands were going to get sore if he wasn't careful. 

But oh, the way that Arin was wriggling and panting was absolutely _perfect_. The energy was filling his whole self, and it was... it was kind of scary, in a way that he didn't know how to explain it, exactly, and that in and of itself was driving him a bit crazy, because what's the point of all the language, all the knowledge, if you don't know how to explain something as simple as a burst of energy?

"I'm taking your boxers off now," said Brian, and he suited words to actions.

"Maybe next time, you can do, like, that thing where the rope is around the dick," said Arin, his voice muffled.

"This isn't the time for suggestions," Brian said sharply. 

If they started down that road, he'd end up discussing technique, and that would end up ruining the whole mood of the scene.

It's hard to feel stupid and small, when someone else is rambling at you about the different ways of tying you up. 

So he shoved Arin's boxers down, baring his slightly furry butt, and he grabbed a handful of it.

He wanted to bite it. He wanted to kick Arin, he wanted to punch him, he wanted to... he wanted to....

"Whoa." 

That was a level of intensity - a level of... wanting that he was very much not expecting. 

It was visceral - he could almost feel himself doing it, the energy surging through his body, the twitch of his muscles. 

He could almost hear Arin crying out. 

"Are you alright?" Arin sounded concerned.

_Shit._

He was doing it wrong. 

"I'm fine," Brian snapped. "But if you speak up again, I'll hit you harder."

Brian heard the intake of breath, then... silence. 

Okay.

It was a lot easier to maintain the persona, when he didn't have to say anything. 

It helped that Arin wasn't looking at his face.

He adjusted Arin by yanking on the rope, forcing Arin's ass to stick out some more. He grabbed a big handful of it, and he squeezed it, watching as the skin turned white, then gradually pinked up. 

It was transfixing. 

He landed a hit, with all of his might, and Arin yelped and whimpered, and oh, that was sweet, that was so... sweet.

He was hard.

He was really, really hard.

He reached down to adjust himself in his jeans and realized, with a start, that he had actually leaked through his boxers, through his jeans. 

He was holding back, carefully, because this new energy was... it was something, he didn't know what it was, but the idea of losing control like that was terrifying. 

He went for the bottom of Arin's ass, where the thigh met the ass, and then Arin was actually howling, almost crying, wriggling and jerking under him, his cock hard and hot and heavy between his legs.

It was dripping on the rug. 

He should have put a towel down. 

A lesson for next time. 

Arin's ass was turning pink, and it was getting warm to the touch. 

Brian wanted a handprint. 

He didn't entirely know why, but he did - he wanted a perfect hand print on Arin's skin, something for Arin to remember him by, when Arin way lying in bed, no doubt on his stomach. 

But Arin's ass was entirely too pink for that, beginning towards red. 

But there was the thighs....

* * * 

Arin screamed when Brian landed the first hard hit on the back of his thigh, and he jerked under Brian, his cock waggling against his belly, making slight slapping noises. 

"Oh," Arin whined, and then he sobbed, as Brian landed another hit, and there was the handprint that Brian wanted so badly. 

"Is that all you have to say?" 

"What?" Arin sounded dozy, horny, spaced out. 

"No thank you sir?" He slapped Arin's thigh again, harder, and then he got on his knees behind him, grabbing between Arin's legs, squeezing his cock, from the root to the tip.

Arin moaned, gutturally, and his sweat was slippery under Brian's fingers. His skin was hot to the touch, and when Brian got on all fours and draped himself over Arin's back, Arin moaned, guttural. 

Brian bit Arin's shoulder through his tank top, without thinking, just dug his teeth in, as he humped against Arin's ass and jerked him off, Arin's skin pliable and soft under his teeth, the muscle tensing under him. 

"Ask... me," Brian panted.

"Ask?" 

"To cum. No - _beg_ me," Brian growled. 

"Please," Arin whined, "please. Please, do it, please!"

"Please do what?"

"Please let me cum, please, please, please, make me cum, please, let me cum, please, it hurts, please, please!"

Arin came across Brian's hands, and then he fell forward, only supported by Brian's arms around his middle. 

"Fuck," Arin said, "I think... I think I'm done."

Brian wasn't anywhere near done - he could have kept hitting him, he could have kept fucking him, he could have done a lot of things.

What was he going to do? 

He could masturbate... he could ask Arin for some help... what else was he gonna do? 

If the scene was over, it was... over.

"Dude," Arin mumbled, and Brian could _hear_ the grin in his voice. "You, uh... you need any help with that?" 

"You sure? I mean, you don't have to, if you don't want to." He was humping against Arin's sore butt, the heat of the skin like a fire, even through Brian's jeans. 

"I wouldn't offer it if I wasn't up for it," said Arin.

Brian bit back a sigh.

He didn't know if he had it in him to be the big mean Dom, while he was this horny.

He always got the giggles when he was about to cum, how was he supposed to maintain his Domly affectations?

How was he supposed to enjoy a blowjob in the first place, if he had to concentrate on what his face was doing. 

"Okay," said Brian. 

"You don't have to keep up the Dom act," Arin added, as an afterthought. "I mean, if you want to, you can, but I'd kinda just like to give my boyfriend a hot blowie." He laughed, rueful. "I guess I'm not as much of a badass as I thought I was."

... shit.

Brian hadn't even thought about aftercare.

"Is there anything you need?"

Ariel had stressed the need for blankets, chocolate, and water, but Arin was sweating enough for it to drip on the rug, and he wasn't usually one for chocolate. 

"No, I'm good for now," said Arin. He grinned. "So. Hot blowie?"

"Do you want me to untie you first?"

"That might be a good idea," Arin said, his tone casual. "My hands are kinda starting to get tingly."

Brian bit back a lot of curses. 

It wouldn't do to get mad at him.

He was supposed to be a big, tough Dom. 

Not someone who got worried or angry like this. 

So he got off of Arin, and he helped Arin sit up, carefully untying Arin's hands, squeezing the blood and the warmth back into them. 

"You need to tell me if you lose the feeling in your hands," Brian said carefully. "You could be seriously hurt. I know that it's my job to predict these things, but if I can't see it with my own two eyes, I need to be able to check. Do you understand?"

Arin nodded. He looked embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry," he said, as he wriggled his fingers. 

"It's alright."

It wasn't.

But it kinda had to be, didn't it? 

It was about making Arin happy, and yelling at him for being a dumbass wouldn't exactly make him happy, would it?

It was simpler when they were just in a relationship.

"Do you still want that blowie?"

"Nah," said Brian.

the weird... energy that was going through him was gone, and he just felt tired. He wanted to be held, he wanted to be kissed. 

Since it wasn't as if he could really ask for that, if he was the Dominant, he was just going to have to suffer. 

"I'm going to the bathroom," said Brian. "Then I'm going to give you some water, okay?"

"Okay," mumbled Arin.

He was clearly going into subdrop, 

Crap.

Brain skipped his bathroom trip, sat on the floor, and he opened his arms up, wrapping his arms around Arin, as Arin snuggled up to him, his scalp sweaty against Brian's chin. 

Despite the fire thundering in his veins, despite how hard he was shaking....

This was totally worth it. 

This was amazing. 

* * * 

"Dude," said Dan, three days later, as Brian sat on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table, "you look _wiped out_!" 

"Yeah," said Brian, and he yawned. "Sorry. I'm kinda tired."

"Why tired? We didn't do anything especially crazy today." 

Brian lifted his arm up, let Dan cuddle up, let Dan wrap those long arms of his around and around.

He had cried, when he'd gotten home from his date with Arin.

He still wasn't sure why, but he was still... on edge. 

"I had... do you mind if I talk about some stuff with Arin?"

"Yeah, go ahead," said Dan, still stroking Brian's back. 

"We did a scene, and it was a lot of fun, but, like... I ended up feeling super drained afterwards. A lot more drained than I really expected to be. I mean, I've joked around, spanked people in the past. Didn't leave me quite so shaken up."

"Maybe it was the headspace?" 

"Maybe," said Brian. He yawned again. "I know we had a hot date planned, but do you mind just hanging out?" 

"Sure," said Dan. He grinned. "You're getting old, Bri."

"I can still fuck you six ways from sideways," said Brian indignantly, although his eyes were starting to drift shut. 

"Don't fuck me sideways. It'd be too weird. I'd walk funny." 

"You already walk funny," Brian murmured.

Dan's laugh echoed through his head, and he was aware, faintly, that he was starting to snore. 

* * * 

_I'd like to do more intense hitting stuff_

_You mean more impact?_

_Yeah_

_What kinda stuff?_

_... I might have bought some stuff_

_What kinda stuff?_

Brian's phone buzzed, and then he opened up the message - it was a picture of a pair of... gloves? 

What the heck?

_I'm confused_

_They're sap gloves. They've got, like, metal filings in them, so if you punch someone while you wear them, you end up with super intense hitting_

_Where'd you get those?_

_I was looking up some stuff on one of those weird BDSM websites, I've been kinda just reading up about this stuff_

_Send some links, I'll see what I can do_

* * * 

"Sap gloves?" Ariel raised an eyebrow. "Wow!" 

"Wow?"

"Those are pretty heavy duty," said Ariel. "Your sub isn't playing around!"

Brian smiled, pleased. 

Arin was a badass. 

"Could you teach me some other stuff?"

"What kind of other stuff?"

"Other impact play. Floggers, whips, things like that."

"I'm not going to just hand you a singletail," said Ariel, scorn practically dripping from their words.

Ariel always seemed pretty scornful, come to think of it. 

Did they ever wear pajama pants and eat ice cream? Did they laugh with their partners, or cry at sad movies?

"So what should I get started with?" 

Brian tried his own super Dominant voice, even tried to square up, so that he was almost eye to eye with them. 

They grinned, and it wasn't a nice smile, but it was the most human that he had ever seen them. 

"Well," they said, "for a start, you should probably learn how to properly throw a flogger."

Brian resisted the urge to make a joke - _where am I throwing it to?_

It probably wouldn't have been appreciated, and why waste a joke on an audience who wouldn't appreciate it? 

“Right,” said Brian. “That would be a handy thing to learn.”

* * * 

_My butt is still sore_

A flash of shame hit him. He’d hurt Arin. 

_I’m sorry_

_Don’t be, it’s amazing_

_We should have a talk about what you’d like_

_Yeah? I figured we could kinda just go along_

_We can go along, but some stuff requires stuff, you know?_

_Yeah, true. I’ll write out a nice list for you_

_Sounds good. What are you up to tonight?_

_Me and Suze are gonna spoil the cats_

_How is that any different from what you normally do?_

Arin sent him a picture of his middle finger, and Brian smirked. 

_Is that a promise?_

_Not very domly of you, to ask like that!_

… shit.

Was that him saying asking wasn’t domly, or him saying that getting fucked in the ass wasn’t domly? 

Was he not allowed to take it anymore, if he wanted to be seen as a dominant? 

He’d have to ask Ariel about this. 

He’d checked some things out online, but everything was so damn contradictory, he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it. 

_What are your plans for the night?_

Another text from Arin broke him out of his reverie. 

_Date with Dan. We’ll indulge in old people debauchery_

_Game of Thrones?_

_Game of Thrones and beer_

_You crazy kinkster you_

_If you keep sassing me like that, I’ll make you regret it_

_Oh yeah? ; )_

… goddamn it. It was the stupid winking emoji that pushed him past it. 

_I’ll spank you until you bruise_

_You’re assuming I didn’t bruise already_

_Well, if you keep sassing me, you’re certainly gonna be bruised_

_As if you could do it, old man_

Brian sent a selfie of his raised eyebrow. 

He got another emoticon text message. 

Goddamn it, Arin. 

Brian was going to have to work on the flogger. 

* * * 

Brian was kissing Dan.

He was really kissing Dan, the kind of kissing that left him breathless. He could taste Dan’s half a bottle of beer.

They were gonna order a pizza, but Dan had leaned over to grab his laptop, and Brian had grabbed his ass, and then Brian was pulling Dan into his lap, and now… now Dan was kissing Brian. 

Brian held on to Dan, and he might have been shaking a bit, but that same power, that same energy, it was surging through him, and he was kissing with his tongue, he was pulling him closer, chest to chest, breathing each other’s breath.

His sweat was slippery against Dan’s forehead, and Dan was chuckling roughly .

“You’re, uh… you seem to be getting into the dominant role pretty easily, I see.”

“Hmm?” Brian pushed aside some of Dan’s hair, and he began to nibble along Dan’s neck, sucking on Dan’s earlobe, and Dan gasped and groaned, thrusting up into his stomach.

“Fuck, you’re not playing around,” Dan said, breathless. 

“This stuff isn’t… isn’t playing around,” Brian mumbled, and he shoved his hands up the back of Dan’s shirt, cradling Dan’s shoulder blades in his palms. 

“No?” Dan chuckled against his lips, and Dan grinned, giving him a loud, smacking kiss. “I mean, this shit is kinda weird.”

“What?”

“Sex. it’s weird.” Dan was beginning to giggle a bit. “We’re rubbing bits of ourselves against each other until we can make some genetic material, at which point we stop. We’re not even reproducing.”

“I mean, would you want to reproduce?” This conversation was going… somewhere. He didn’t entirely know where. 

“Well, no,” said Dan, “but maybe you don’t need to take it quite so seriously.”

Brian blushed, and he kissed Dan on the nose, gently. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just… I try to remember what the dominant personality is like, since that’s… that’s not really what I’m like, but I have to work hard to get it, and I guess I might be starting to connect intimacy to being dominant?” 

“Well, you don’t have to be serious with me,” said Dan. “We’re a bunch of weirdos. Let’s enjoy it.” 

Brian made a silly face.

“I vant to suck your cock,” he said, using his best wannabe Dracula voice. 

“... not that silly,” said Dan, and then he burst out laughing, right in Brian’s face, and okay, it was kind of loud, but who cared, because now Brian was laughing - he’d missed laughing, he’d missed laughing so much.

He hadn’t realized how important laughter was to him. 

He held Dan closer to him, and he rolled his hips forward, his dick pressing against the seat of Dan’s pants.

“What if I was a gay vampire? Wouldn’t that be discrimination?” He slid his other hand down, to grab Dan’s ass, skin to skin. 

“If you’re a gay vampire, then that pot rotted much more of my brain than I thought it did,” said Dan, and he rolled his hips luxuriously, grinding his cock against Brian’s belly. 

“Hmm?”

“What with the fact that I have literally had my dick in your mouth, and I feel like if you had a pair of vampire fangs I might have actually noticed that.” Dan’s cock flexed in his jeans. “Excalibur is a pretty sensitive instrument.”

“Sensitive instrument,” Brian said flatly. 

“You know it,” said Dan, and he waggled his eyebrows. 

“Just get your dick out,” said Brian. 

“How romantic,” Dan said. “I knew you saved all the romantic shit for Arin.”

“Do you want me to flog you and shit?” 

Please no. 

He only had a certain amount of mean in him, and if he had to pull of the grumpy asshole thing for two different people… no. 

“No, I’m not really into that,” Dan said. “I bruise if you look at me sideways.”

Why did that sound quite so… satisfying? 

God, maybe all of this shit was changing him. 

"I mean," Brian laughed, slightly nervous, not sure why, "how would I even manage to look at you sideways? I've only got the one pair of eyes, there's only so much I can do with them, right?"

Dan snorted, and he poked Brian in the nose.

"You always get pedantic when you're anxious," Dan said. "What's going on in your head?"

Brian sighed gustily, trying to sort his thoughts out. 

"I... I'm way more into the whole... dominant thing than I thought I would be," he said, aware of how silly he sounded. "When I was spanking Arin, I felt this... energy. I wanted to do more. Like, a lot more. Whenever he was in pain, I felt... _good_ , and I don't know how to react to that. Does that make me a bad person?"

"Nah," said Dan. "Makes you a sadist."

"I'm not a sadist," Brian said. "You're thinking of Ross."

"Really?" Dan raised an eyebrow, and he looked... something close to smug.

Bastard.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of the fact that it took how many years of borderline sexual harassment before we fell in bed together?" Dan leaned back (as far as he could), folding his arms. 

"Excuse me?"

"You're a sadist. You like annoying people, you like picking at people. It turns out that you like hurting people, physically." Dan shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"Isn't that one of the signs of someone being a serial killer?"

"Well, there are tons of things that are signs of being a serial killer, that aren't actually being a serial killer," said Dan. "I mean, I was a bed wetter, doesn't mean that I'm gonna go out and start stabbing co-eds."

"They don't call them co-eds anymore," Brian said. "Fuck, I don't think they've called them co-eds in our actual life time."

"I wouldn't know," Dan said. "I don't actually watch horror movies."

Brian snorted.

"But yeah." Dan's face softened. "There's nothing wrong with being a sadist, any more than there's something wrong with having a foot fetish, or liking to be tied up, or whatever. It's a part of who you are. As long as you're not, like, creepy about it, or do stuff without consent -" 

"I'd never hurt someone without their consent," Brian said. The idea alone was enough to make him faintly queasy. 

"Well, there you go then," said Dan. "Proof enough."

"Since when have you gotten so thoughtful about this kinda thing?" Brian prodded Dan in the side. "Weren't you the one who was convinced that pansexuality was when people also fucked animals?"

"I didn't actually think that," Dan said, "I just kinda made a joke." He looked sheepish. "Anyway, Holly kinda yelled at me."

Brian snorted. 

"I think we got off track," said Dan, and he rolled his hips, long and slow, almost as if he was giving a lap dance. "Weren't you about to take your dick out?"

"I don't remember that being the order of operations," Brian said, pitching his voice down low and putting on a bit of the professor tone. 

It didn't entirely have the effect he was hoping for.

Dan started chuckling, then laughing, his hands over his mouth, his face turning bright red.

"What's so funny?"

"You sound like a fucking math teacher," said Dan.

"A fucking math teacher is what I hope to be," Brian said, attempting to sound haughty, then grinning, beginning to snicker himself. 

This was... this was what he needed.

This ridiculousness, this silliness. 

He'd have to find a way to incorporate it in Arin - have a whole talk with him about the whole big serious dominant thing. 

Although he didn't want to disappoint Arin, and he _was_ having fun with it...

They'd work it out. 

Somehow. 

"But yeah," said Dan. "You should take your dick out."

"I should take my dick out," Brian echoed, deadpan. "Why would that be?"

"Because I want to play with it, and it's kinda hard for me to do that when it's in your pants," said Dan, as calm and chill as if he was asking Brian to pass the salt.

He'd come a long way, from not even being able to ask Brian for a kiss, to casually bringing up the fact that he wanted to play with Brian's dick.

Although he probably wouldn't have appreciated having this pointed out to him. 

"Well?" Brian indicated down, between his legs, "get to it then."

"Hmmm?" Dan raised an eyebrow. 

"You want my dick, get it out," said Brian.

He'd gone a bit soft over the course of their conversation, but he was firming up again.

How could he not, when someone as gorgeous as Dan was in his lap?

Dan squirmed, so that he was resting further forward on Brian's thighs. He grabbed at Brian's zipper and pulled it open, sliding those clever long fingers of his into Brian's pants and squeezing what he found there. 

Brian moaned, his head tilting back, as Dan's hot, dry hands wrapped around his cock, drew it out. He was squirming a bit, not exactly dignified, but now Dan was taking his own cock out, pressing their dicks together, and oh wow, that was... wow. 

"Mine is bigger," Dan said thickly, beginning to jerk them off, one hand holding them together at the base, the other hand going from the head to the tops of Dan's fingers and back. 

"Doesn't matter," Brian retorted, and he reached over, into Dan's jeans, to fondle his balls, squeezing and rolling them, kneading them in his hand. He squeezed, gently, and he ran his thumbnail along the seam.

Dan moaned like he was in pain, rolling his hips forward, rubbing his dick along Brian's cock, which gave Brian more stimulation, leading him to keep playing with Dan's balls, tugging them, moving over to press his fingers against Dan's perineum, then moving a bit higher, probing at his asshole with the tip of his index finger, before moving down again, to roll Dan's balls in his hands. 

“Y’like that?” Brian’s voice went down, and... wow, that wasn’t usually the person who he was. He wasn’t a sexy suave type at _all_.

Except he apparently was. 

Huh. 

“Fuck, Brian,” Dan gasped, and his voice broke as he began to actively jerk the two of them off, long, easy flicks of his wrists, his face crumpling in on itself, his hips hunching forward. He was wobbling, and Brian kept a hand on his hip to keep him from falling over, 

“Come for me,” Brian said. 

Dan’s cock was swelling, getting hotter, and it was getting even more slippery, and Brian’s own cock was starting to drip, the intensity of it filling him like an empty glass. 

He was going to cum, he was going to cum so hard, he was going to… he was going… he was….

Brian came across Dan’s hands, he came across Dan’s cock, and he was squeezing Dan’s balls as they drew up into Dan’s body, until Dan was cumming as well, using Brian’s cum as lube, until Dan was slumping forward, his groin sticky with their combined cum. 

“Fuck,” Dan mumbled, and he nuzzled into Brian’s neck, his hair getting in Brian’s mouth.

“We just did,” Brian said. 

Not very creative, but fuck it. 

He was tired. 

Satisfied, but tired.

“You’re not bringing your A game,” said Dan. “In fact… I’d give that a D.”

“I’d say we both brought our D game,” said Brian deadpan, and then Dan was laughing, hard enough that he actually fell off of the chair.

He lay flat on his back, and he kept cackling, both hands covering his face. 

“You fucking… oh my god, Brian, I can’t fucking believe you sometimes!”

“You don’t have to believe me,” Brian said, putting on his best Dom voice, “you just have to get me off.”

Dan grabbed Brian’s ankle and yanked on it, forcing Brian onto the floor with him. They both sprawled out on their backs on the rug, chuckling. 

Brian couldn’t even be indignant about being yanked down, because he was laughing too hard. 

Why couldn’t the kinky shit be like this? Where he got to exercise something like control, and laugh a bunch?

Maybe he’d talk to Arin about it.

* * * 

“So,” said Arin, fiddling with his hands, “I’ve been doing my research on stuff.”

“I may have noticed,” Brian agreed. He’d gotten a bunch of links from Arin, about different kinds of bruising he wanted, about the implements he liked - the implements he’d already bought.

Honestly, it was kind of overwhelming.

But it was Brian’s job to provide what Arin needed, and if this was what Arin needed to be happy, he’d provide it. 

Even if that meant pushing his own boundaries. 

“Let’s do some predicament bondage!”

“Say it a little louder,” Brian said, deadpan. “I think there are people at the bar who didn’t hear you.”

Arin rolled his eyes, but then he grinned, waggling his eyebrows.

“You gonna punish me?”

“In ways you wouldn’t even begin to imagine,” Brian said. 

Arin took a deep breath, then deflated, chuckling.

“Nah,” he said. “I don’t want us to end up being _those_ creeps, you know?” 

“The ones who end up in the news, you mean?”

“Yeah,” said Arin. “Although it might make our brand recognition a lot more memorable.”

Brian snorted. 

“You’d probably lose your youth viewership,” he pointed out.

“Are you kidding? KIds love that shit. They’re gross little fucks.” Then Arin smirked. “Or do I count as “youth” to you, since you’re so old?”

Brian raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re pushing it,” he warned Arin. 

That same energy, in his hands, in his arms, in his face.

He wanted to slap Arin.

He wanted to bite Arin.

He wanted to fuck Arin's’ face.

“Come at me, scrublord,” said Arin. “I’m fuckin’ ripped.”

“Go to the bathroom. Now.” 

“What?” 

“The bathroom. Go. Now.” 

“What do you -” 

“I’ll be there in five minutes. If it’s empty, you’ll get your punishment now. If it’s not, I’ll do it in the parking lot.”

Arin’s face went almost… slack, and he was blushing, biting his lip. 

“Yes, sir,” said Arin. 

* * * 

What was he doing?

He was… he was filling a role, but he was kind of enjoying this bit way too much. 

He knew what Arin wanted. 

Was this what Arin wanted, or was he doing it wrong?

Brian sighed, covered his face with one hand, then paid the bill and went into the men’s room. 

It was single occupancy, thank god, and Arin hadn’t locked it. 

He was just standing there, breathing quietly, biting his lower lip.

He had quite the hard on, though.

Brian walked into the bathroom, locked the door behind him. 

What was he doing? Was this him?

It might not entirely be who he was, but it was who Arin wanted, and maybe it was kind of fun to play at being this kind of asshole, at least until he could figure out how to incorporate it into his regular personality.

Who knew it would be so hard for him to get in touch with his inner asshole, considering how much of a schmuck he was the rest of the time? 

Brian locked the door behind them. He approached Arin in the small room, until Arin was backed into the wall, looking nervous. 

“So you think I’m old?”

“You’re totally old,” Arin said, seeming to come up from whatever headspace had been taking him over. 

Brian grabbed Arin by the throat.

They hadn’t exactly talked about that, but Arin seemed to like it when Brian was all in charge, and Arin hadn’t called his safeword, so Brian took it as a “go”. 

Arin moaned, and it vibrated along Brian’s arm, and more of that goddamn energy filled him up, making his hands shake. 

He squeezed, just hard enough to make his presence known.

He’d studied this, after Arin had admitted he had a bit of a fantasy about being choked. He’d never done it in practice, but he understood the theory pretty well. 

Arin’s Adam’s apple bobbed against Brian’s hand, in the web of skin between the thumb and the forefinger. Brian squeezed, and Arin gasped, more vibrations. 

“You’re just an annoying little shit,” Brian spat, and the nastiness was just… flowing out of him, like water from a pipe. “You’re not funny, you’re just an annoying little cunt who wants me to take time out of my busy schedule to do what _you_ want, isn’t that right?”

Arin was struggling, and he was squirming, his cock hard in his pants, his eyes sliding shut. His face was turning pink, and he was starting to wheeze. 

Brian let up, taking the pressure off of Arin’s throat, but he grabbed Arin’s hair, wrapping it around and around his hand, forcing Arin’s head to the side as he went back to choking the younger man, pressing most of his weight onto Arin’s throat, applying pressure under the chin. 

“Apologize to me,” snapped Brian, and maybe some of that was… genuine, which was a scary thought. You weren’t supposed to play angry.

Was he angry? He didn’t even know. His emotions were all just one big ball of confusion in his gut right now, and he didn’t entirely know how he was going to deal with it, which was confusing and a bit scary, but the terror and arousal and adoration in Arin’s eyes was more intoxicating than any liquor, and he wasn’t going to stop any time soon. 

It was about time he had some fun with this shit. 

“I’m s-s-sorry,” Arin wheezed. 

Brian shoved his knee between Arin’s legs, right up against Arin’s boner, giving Arin something to hump against, as Brian alternated between leaning into Arin’s throat and hissing filth in his ear.

“You’re just a needy, whiny cunt. You’re gonna cum in your pants, aren’t you? It’s a good thing it’s so fucking dark in this place, or else everyone would see what a dirty fucking slut you are. Maybe we should turn all the fucking lights up, is that what they want?”

“H-harder,” Arin mumbled. 

“You’re just gonna fucking demand it from me?” Brian forced Arin back, so that his head clanged against the wall with a sickening thud. “You don’t even have the basic fucking courtesy in your fucking head to even say please?” 

“Please,” Arin choked out, and then he was spasming against Brian’s leg, cumming and cumming, his hips juddering forward. 

Brian let go, and Arin grinned at him, his tongue lolling out, panting heavily. 

“That was fucking amazing,” Arin said thickly. “Let’s do that again.” 

 

“Not right now,” said Brian, with some authority. “I don’t think you can get it up again that fast.”

“I’m not like you, _old man_ ,” Arin said, waggling his eyebrows. 

He wanted to hit Arin again, add more marks to the ones that were blossoming around Arin’s throat, which… hadn’t been planned. Why was he so turned on by the damn idea?

“Did you hear me? I called you an old man,” Arin said, still making a silly face.

Brian bit back an annoyed comment. 

He missed having a boyfriend, not just a bratty submissive.

“For your own good,” Brian said, “we’re done for the night. At least, with choking.”

“How about some other stuff?” Arin’s eyes were fever bright, and he was still grinding against Brian’s leg. “C’mon, please?”

 

There was a knock on the door, and Brian looked up, panic welling up.

“One moment,” he called, keeping his voice calm. “My friend is sick.” He elbowed Arin in the side, giving him a Look. 

Thankfully, Arin wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t take a hint. 

Arin began to cough and make puking noises, and Brian leaned over, flushing the toilet.

They didn’t make eye contact until they were back in the car, at which point they both began to laugh, hard enough that Brian’s stomach hurt, and he grabbed at Arin’s hair and kissed him, hard and bruising, still chuckling, full of that same new energy. 

“Fuck,” said Arin, and he was panting. “Can you do that again some time?”

“What, lie to people about vomiting?”

“No, like… you just taking charge like that.”

“You like that?”

“Yeah,” said Arin. 

“I’ll remember that,” said Brian.

Well… it had been nice to have a moment with his boyfriend as his boyfriend, while it lasted. 

* * * 

Brian kissed Arin goodbye, then drove to his own place. It was dark, empty, and he was… he was lonely. Almost hole in the soul lonely, and how to explain that?

Brian had asked Arin if he needed any aftercare, but apart from a bottle of water, Arin had been good.

He was going home to snuggle Suzy, which was all well and good, but why did Brian feel so horrible? 

Dan was busy, and that left Brian… well, on his own.

He sighed, sitting on his couch, and there was wetness on his face.

He was crying. 

How about that?

Was he a bad person, for wanting to hurt Arin like this? Was he a bad person for wanting… _something_ back? He was getting the chance to make Arin feel good. 

Why wasn’t that enough? Was he really that selfish? 

His shoulders shook as he cried into the pillow, his arms wrapped around himself protectively.

He couldn’t be this weak. He had to be strong, a good Dominant. 

He wanted to make Arin happy, and it wasn’t as if Arin was unhappy.

There must have been something wrong with him, to be this upset all the time. 

He’d get over it. 

He just had to dry his face and get on with it. 

 

* * * 

“I want to learn how to do predicament bondage,” said Brian to Ariel, a week later. 

“What kind of predicament bondage?” 

“Well, he sent me a few pictures,” said Brian, and he took out his phone, beginning to flip through the pictures that he had downloaded. 

Ariel watched through narrowed eyes. 

“Your sub really has a high pain tolerance,” said Ariel. 

“Oh yeah,” said Brian. 

“Well,” said Ariel, “for that first tie, I’m going to have to walk you through it, since you don’t have enough hair for me to make that work. I assume your sub has long hair?” 

“Oh, yeah,” said Brian. “Really long hair.” 

They smiled like a shark. 

“Long haired subs are the best,” they said. “Such a good handle.”

The two of them shared a smile, and that was… odd.

Brian didn’t really consider Ariel a friend, but they were starting to bond.

If nothing else, they didn’t get grumpy at how antsy he was lately. 

* * * 

“Are you sure you’re okay with me tying you up?” Brian looked genuinely apprehensive, as Dan disrobed, until he was just standing there in his boxers and an old Rush t-shirt, looking a bit like a very long stalk of broccoli. 

“It’s fine,” Dan said, and he leaned down to kiss Brian. “You’ve been watching rope videos and reading tutorials all day. It’s the least I can do.”

“Are you absolutely sure? You’ve never mentioned it before is all,” said Brian, as he carefully took out his rope. 

He’d gotten another bunch of it, a different shade of pink this time. 

“I’m not against rope,” said Dan, “I’m just not, like, super into it either.”

“Are you absolutely sure?” 

“Brian,” Dan said sharply, “I said yes. You can stop pushing.”

 

“Sorry,” Brian said, and he blushed, his face turning the same color as his hair. 

“It’s alright,” said Dan. “What’s got you so twitchy?”

“It feels… wrong, to do this stuff like this,” said Brian. “When there’s no D/s involved or anything like that.” 

“I mean, rope is rope. You don’t need to have some kind of high protocol or whatever just to mess around with some rope.”

Brian sighed, deep and true, and he rubbed his eyes. 

He had a headache coming on. 

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Dan shot Brian a concerned look. 

“I’ll be fine,” Brian said. 

“After this, how about I make you some soup, we could watch a movie, cuddle?”

“Aren’t you feeling domestic,” Brian said, and maybe there was a bit more venom in his voice than he intended, because Dan’s face fell. 

Shit. 

“I’m sorry,” Brian said. “I think… I think that I’m having some trouble with the whole… dominant thing.” 

“What kinda trouble?” 

“... I wanna be nice,” said Brian. “Like, as stupid as it sounds, I just… I wanna be nice to Arin sometimes. Or maybe I want him to be nice to me. Sometimes it feels like I do all of the mean shit, and then he gets to go home to Suzy, and it’s… just me.” He cleared his throat, realizing what that sounded like. “Not that I think that you should have to step up to the plate for something like that or whatever.”

“I didn’t think you were saying that,” said Dan, and he wrapped his long arms around Brian, resting his chin on top of Brian’s head. “I’m kinda worried about you, man. You’ve seen pretty miserable.”

“Just getting into the role,” Brian said. 

He didn’t want to admit to the terrifying joy he felt, when he hurt Arin. The shockwave up his arm when he landed a hit, the wonder of seeing Arin’s face turn red, hearing Arin’s wheezing. 

He was here to make Arin feel good. It didn’t matter what he got out of it. 

Well, no, tell a lie, he was happy when Arin was happy. 

And that was the important part.

“You don’t have to be in the role all the time,” said Dan, into the top of Brian’s head. 

It was nice to be held like this.

Brian sighed, and Dan squirmed. 

“What?”

“It’s really ticklish when you do that,” Dan said, half apologetic, half amused.

“You’re worse than Ross,” Brian said, and he kissed Dan on the collarbone, which made Dan wriggle.

“I can’t help it,” Dan said. “I’m sensitive,” he added, in a mock whine.

“If you’re so sensitive, are you sure that you can take being tied up?”

“It’s not like you’re gonna do some crazy suspension on me, right?”

“Well, no,” said Brian. “I don’t think I even have a hard point installed.”

“Good,” said Dan. “I’d be a bit worried if you’d jumped in _that_ head first.”

“You’ve been doing your research, I see,” said Brian.

Dan shrugged. 

“I know it’s a thing you’re into,” said Dan, “and I made a friend who is also super into it, so I kinda ended up hearing all the intricacies of it.”

“How do you keep tripping over rope people?”

Dan shrugged. 

“Circles I run in?”

“So internet celebrities and weirdo kinky perverts,” said Brian, beginning to uncoil the rope. “So, uh, I was thinking I could try a hog tie?” 

“Just none of that predicament stuff,” said Dan. “I feel like that would pull my hair out.”

“How would I even get the rope around your hair?” Brian was genuinely intrigued. 

“I mean, if it can be put in a bun, it can totally be wrangled with rope,” said Dan. 

Brian snickered.

“Rope wrangling. It sounds like I’m going to be doing some kind of cowboy bullshit.”

“You are hog tying me,” Dan pointed out, lying out on his stomach on the floor. 

“Well, yeah, but I’m not wearing chaps or a hat.” Brian began to wrap the rope around Dan’s wrists, keeping the rope steady. 

“... my brain just went a weird place,” said Dan, grunting slightly as the rope pulled tighter, forcing his arms together behind his back. 

“What kinda weird place?” 

The rope was… calming. It was becoming familiar already, and there was a simplicity to it. 

“You know how they have, like, pencil pushers for numbers? The pencil pushers are pushing the numbers towards the wranglers.”

Brian snorted. 

It was nice, doing this without having to be nasty. He kept up vague conversation with Dan, but mostly he concentrated on the pull of the rope, getting it looped right, giving it enough slack, making sure that Dan was comfortable. 

Eventually, he sat back, admiring his handiwork. 

Dan was hogtied, his hands behind his back, his legs up. His face was pressed into the carpet, and he was wriggling, ever so slightly. 

“I feel like a turkey,” said Dan. 

“Since when do people truss up turkeys?” Brian ran a hand along the line of Dan’s back, stopping to squeeze Dan’s butt.

With his knees at the slightly awkward position, it was pushed up, enough to give it a bit of a curve. 

“Isn’t that the expression? Trussed up like a turkey?” 

“Well, yeah, but I’ve only ever trussed up lamb or chicken.”

“Maybe you’ve got weird culinarial experiences or something,” said Dan, wriggling a bit. “These are good knots.”

“Is culinarial a word?” Brian squeezed Dan’s butt again, then began to untie him. 

As pretty sa Dan was tied up like this, it wasn’t exactly easy access to his butt. Theoretically, Brian could have fucked Dan’s face, but he wasn’t in the mood for that kinda thing right now. 

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit distracted,” Dan said. “My totally hot boyfriend is tying me up, and I’m supposed to be holding full on… intellectual conversations and shit.”

Brain’s stomach went cold. 

Oh fuck.

“Do you want me to do the dom thing?”

“Oh, fuck, no,” asid Dan quickly. “I’m just kinda horny, and I’m having fun, which makes it a bit hard for me to, like, be super smart and shit.”

“Are you that horny when you’re doing Grump sessions,” Brian said, his tone one of polite inquiry. 

“Low blow, man,” said Dan, but he flopped onto his back, rubbing his wrists. “But… like, you should totally fuck me.”

“I should?” Brian raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” said Dan. “You should _totally_ fuck me. Stick your dick in me. Your shlong.”

“If you keep calling it a schlong, it’s not going near you,” Brian said. 

“You’re no fun,” said Dan, pouting theatrically. 

Brian rolled his eyes, and he leaned down, kissing Dan loudly on the belly.

Dan shrieked like a beast, wriggling, and he gaped his legs open. 

Excalibur was wide awake, poking through the slot of Dan’s boxers.

Brian leaned down, kissing the head. He kept eye contact with Dan, and he wrapped his lips around the head of Dan’s cock, beginning to suck it, gently. 

Dan moaned, his back arching, his fingers going to Brian’s hair, tangling in it, pulling on it. 

“Fuck, Bri,” Dan moaned, and he rolled his hips, luxuriating in the blowjob, as Dan’s long fingers went from his hair to trace along his face, the furrow in his brow, the tips of Dan’s fingers along his eyebrows. 

“Still want me to fuck you?” Brian looked at Dan through his eyelashes, and he was smirking. 

“Yep,” said Dan. “You look like you need it.”

Brian paused. 

“Is this a pity fuck?”

“It’s not a pity fuck,” Dan said. “Please don’t make me admit that I like having your dick in my butt hole. Whatever remains of my heterosexuality might not be able to take the blow.” 

Brian didn’t say anything, just gave Dan a Look.

“... go get the lube,” Dan said. 

Brian kept giving him the Look.

“Fine. I’ll get the lube.”

Dan stood up.

Thankfully, Brian had already taken the rope off of Dan’s ankles, or he probably would have tripped. 

That would have, admittedly, been pretty damn funny. 

* * * 

Some time later, they were kissing. 

They were kissing, and Brian was inside of Dan. 

Really inside of him - Dan was more or less folded in half, his heels resting on Brian’s shoulders, behind his head, and he was holding onto the sheets like he was going to fall to pieces if he let go, his eyes squeezed shut. 

He was so fucking beautiful.

It almost wasn’t fair. 

It wasn’t fair that Brian was… allowed this, that he could be here, he could be doing this, that he was this lucky.

He wanted to hurt Dan. 

… no, that wasn’t right. 

That was wrong, he wasn’t supposed to want to hurt Dan, that wasn’t the kind of relationship they had - that wasn’t the kind of relationship he _wanted_ \- what was he going to do, if he didn’t have anyone who he could make jokes with, who he could be vulnerable with? 

The intensity, the energy, it ran through him, and he was fucking Dan as hard as he ever could, leaning down to kiss Dan, and Dan was kissing him back, moaning in time with each thrust, the two of them joined together, a level of intimacy that was new, but old at the same time, old as time. 

Dan came across his own stomach, and he cried out, spasming and twitching around Brian, his muscles fluttering, pulling Brian in deeper, as Brian drove himself forward, holding on to Dan’s ankles so tightly that his knuckles were starting to creak. 

He came inside of Dan in a burst of heat, he came with a shout, he came his knees went weak, leaving him twitching and shivering as he slumped forward, more cum smearing across his belly as he pressed his face into Dan’s neck, breathing heavily.

Dan’s legs came down, to wrap around Brian’s middle, and one of Dan’s big hands cradled Brian’s cheek. 

“Holy fuck,” Dan said, with enthusiasm. 

For once, Brian didn’t even have a snarky response.

He kissed Dan’s palm, and he cuddled in, listening to the thud of Dan’s heartbeat, slowing down as they both recovered from their orgasms. 

Things were weird and scary, but some things… some things were good. 

Very good. 

* * * 

“So what do you think of them?” Arin was licking his lips, as Brian carefully put the sap gloves on. ‘

Brian made a fist, the sand in the front of the glove odd, the metal filing at the knuckles heavy. 

“It’s interesting,” he said. “Thank you for the gift.”

Was that taking away from his Dom image?

Fuck it, he didn’t need to be obsessing this badly. He needed to just enjoy himself. Let the role come naturally. 

He’d been a professor - he knew how to have authority. 

“So are you gonna use it on me now?” 

“Yes,” said Brian. 

The energy was surging through him, leaving his hands shaking, leaving his breath coming in deep, even. 

“What do you need me to -”

“Turn around and face the wall,” Brian said, his voice calm and even. 

He liked to think it was commanding. 

He was… he was calm. 

He had gone beyond some level of terror, beyond anxiety, to the point where he was just calm. 

“Yes, sir,” said Arin, and his voice had an undercurrent of excitement to it. 

“Put your hands on the wall,” said Brian.

Arin did as instructed.

“I’m going to hit you,” Brian said, stroking along Arin’s back with his palms. 

The gloves were leather, and they were cool. Arin wasn’t wearing a shirt, and Brian followed the trail of goosebumps. 

"Please," said Arin, and it came out in a long, needy whine, waking up Brian's dick, making Brian's eyes squeeze shut as he took a deep breath.

Brian drew his hand back, his fist by his ear. He was aiming for one spot - the meaty spot, next to Arin's shoulder blade.

He'd practiced this. 

He punched Arin, right in the back, and he could _feel_ the air rush out of Arin, hear the grunt and the gasp as some of the wind was knocked out of him. 

"Holy fuck," Arin gasped, and Brian punched him again, harder this time.

The sap gloves gave his hits an "oomph" he wasn't expecting - he didn't realize he could feel this strong, this powerful. He gave another hit, and he watched the flesh displace, watched the way that Arin curled forward, letting out a choked off sob.

"If I wanted you to talk, I'd tell you to open your fucking mouth," Brian growled. Another punch, and it made a solid "thud", solid enough that Brian felt it a bit in his own hands, reverberating through the bones.

Holy fuck. 

Arin moaned, and he was beginning to shake under Brian's hands. 

Brian wanted to stop, to check, but no - part of being a good Dominant was reading his sub, and Arin was still arching up towards him, breathing heavily, his hands clenched into fists up on the wall. 

"That's it," Brian said, and he punched with both hands, right on Arin's back.

It was like hitting a punching bag, only moreso. 

Was this what it felt like to have significant strength in your arms? 

He began to hit harder, alternating between sides, sometimes just going for the same side over and over again.

"That's all your fucking good for," Brian spat, and he began to punch harder, deep, intense punches. "You're good for me to take my fucking frustrations out on."

Arin sobbed, and Brian's cock twitched, almost painfully. 

He pressed closer to Arin, wrapping a hand around Arin's throat, digging his teeth into Arin's bruised shoulder. He ground his dick against Arin's ass, almost growling as he full on humping the younger man through their combined pants and underwear. 

Arin whimpered, almost sagging back against Brian, but Brian kicked him in the calf with one bare foot, and Arin jerked forward again, standing rigid against the wall like some kind of statue.

"I'm not holding you up," Brian snapped, and he squeezed Arin's throat, his forehead pressed into Arin's shoulder. 

The skin was slippery with sweat, and the places where he had hit Arin were already beginning to swell, hot and tender against his face.

But he could always add to that, right?

Arin liked big, showy bruises - he'd sent pictures of the types of things he really liked to Brian, and they had...honestly, they had kind of sickened Brian, but it was Brian's job to do for Arin, and since he was doing for Arin, he might as well go whole hog, right? 

It was... the energy, that same energy that was coursing through him, leaving him shaking, leaving him brimming. 

Everything was just... more, and there was a joy to this, a fierce joy he never thought he'd be able to experience, that he'd never even conceptualized as being a _thing_.

He rained blows down on Arin's broad, strong back, and he didn't stop, he just kept going.

It was only when Brian paused for a breath that he saw just how wrecked Arin was.

It looked like Arin had wings - great spans of red marks across his shoulders, already starting to purple in the dim light of Brian's bedroom. 

Holy fuck. 

"That's enough," Brian said thickly, although he was breathing heavily, like he'd just run a marathon. 

He realized that he was sweating, big drops of sweat dripping down his face, along his cheeks, to his chin, puddling on his bare chest. 

"I'm not done yet, please," Arin whined.

" _You're_ not done yet," Brian snapped, "as if this is about you."

It was all about Arin. 

That was the point of all of this.

A wave of... something that must have been rage washed over Brian, and it was probably a good thing that Arin couldn't see his face, because the anger that was bubbling up in his chest was enough to terrify him a bit. 

"You're not done yet," Brian snapped, and he grabbed Arin by the hair, yanking him towards the bed. He shoved Arin belly down onto the bed, grabbed his pants and yanked them down.

He grabbed Arin's thighs and squeezed them, hard enough that Arin cried out, wriggling under him. 

"Since you're not done yet, I'll obviously have to find somewhere else to hit you," Brian snarled, and he landed a hard, solid punch, right in Arin's thigh, where it met Arin's ass.

Arin howled, slamming his hand down on the bed, and he groaned, his cock beginning to twitch.

"Is this what you fucking wanted?" Brian began to punch with both hands, one after the other, occasionally both at the same time, slamming his fists down into the backs of Arin's thighs.

He switched it up occasionally, slapping Arin with the palms of his hands, or hitting him with the back, the metal in the knuckles of the gloves clinking quietly, the sand absorbing most of the shock, but still leaving Brian's knuckles a bit tender.

He only really noted that in a distant sort of way - it was all about hitting Arin, about eliciting more of those amazing noises out of Arin, about the way Arin's skin was starting to turn pink, the way Arin was groaning, gasping, whimpering, humping against the bed. 

Brian was scrupulous about avoiding Arin's balls, but... fuck, there was a temptation there. An intense temptation, and that was scary, that was a level of scary that he wasn't entirely ready to look at full in the face.

Besides, there was the full, luscious expanse of Arin's thighs, which were slowly but surely turning red, beginning to heat up under Brian's hands - Brian could even feel it through the gloves. 

There was a muffled noise, when Brian gave a particularly vicious punch, and then Arin was shuddering, humping into the bed, and Brian pulled back, terror gripping him, the manic energy emptying out of him, like water pouring out of a hole in a bucket. 

"Um, sir? I think I just came." 

Arin rolled over, and indeed, his belly was sticky with cum, the spot under his cock saturated with cum. 

"Do you want the scene to be over?" Brian licked his lips. 

Did he want the scene to be over?

No.

He wanted... he wanted to keep hitting Arin. 

He wanted to see tears in Arin's eyes. 

He wanted to see Arin as purple as possible. 

He was panting. He was aware of that, faintly. 

Huh. 

"I don't know," Arin said. "I mean... I came, but... holy fuck, I could keep taking it." He squirmed, and he gasped as he applied pressure to the backs of his thighs, which were already swelling up and purple. "What do you think?"

"I think it's entirely up to you," said Brian, slowly and carefully. 

"... maybe we could try some of that mean predicament bondage stuff?" Arin licked his lips. "You could tie me up meanly, maybe fuck me?"

"Is that what you'd like?" 

"Yeah," said Arin. 

Brian's knuckles were aching - he wanted to hurt Arin some more, punch him.

He wanted to shove his hands into a bucket of ice water and maybe cry, as the guilt and the joy battled in his brain. 

The joy won out, and he smiled with a few too many teeth, the way he remembered Ariel smiling. 

Arin's own smile faltered, and holy fuck, but _that_ set something off in Brian's gut, something savage and new, something that left him so full of energy that he could barely think in a straight line.

He leaned in, and he kissed Arin, forcing Arin flat on his back on the bed, digging his knuckles into Arin's pectoral muscles, the metal of the sap gloves adding an extra bit of pain, enough to have Arin biting his own knuckles, wriggling and whimpering against Brian's mouth.

Brian pulled back, and he bit Arin's shoulder, hard enough that there was a "crunch", and Arin spasmed under him, panting like he had just run a marathon. 

"Holy fuck," Arin groaned. "Fuck!" 

"Is that what you want?"

"Please, tie me up," Arin begged, his voice rough. "Please, please, I need...."

"What do you need, you fucking slut?" Brian grabbed Arin by the throat and _squeezed_ , hard enough that Arin began to turn pink. 

"Hurt me, please!" 

"I'm not even close to done hurting you," Brian said, his voice thick, and he began to hump against Arin, where Arin's cock, still soft, gave a feeble twitch against him. 

"Good," Arin croaked out.

Brian let go, and there were... there were going to be bruises around Arin's throat. He would be stuck with turtlenecks for a few days, which was probably going to suck. 

As far gone into the sadism headspace as he was, even the idea of Arin suffering like that sounded... well, it sounded fun, it sounded funny, and Brian had to bite back the smile that was threatening to spread across his face.

Goddamn it.

It was easier to hit Arin from behind - when he was doing that, he didn't have to school his face, which made it easier to focus on enjoying himself.

Oh well. 

"Stay right there," said Brian, "or you'll be sorry."

He went to dig through the closet, and he was still wearing the gloves, which made his hands heavier, and his knuckles were aching, his hands were shaking, but that didn't matter, none of that matter, what mattered was the pink rope, what mattered was Arin's equally pink face, Arin's cock, which was beginning to get hard again.

Arin was lying on his back, and he was panting, his face wet with sweat, or maybe tears - who even knew? His chest rose and fell, and Brian wanted to punch him in it. He wanted to leave fingerprints across all of that pale skin, fingerprints, bruises, hickeys.

He wanted Arin to lean back in his chair, to stretch, and remember when Brian had grabbed him, had punched him, had slapped him, bit him.

He wanted Arin to remember exactly what he was good for. 

What was Arin good for?

Well, as far as Brian was concerned, at this moment in time, all Arin was good for was a thing for Brian to hurt, a thing for Brian to use. 

* * * 

The rope was cool and familiar in Brian's hands, and he didn't say anything as he began to tie Arin up, stripping the younger man of all of his clothing, down to his socks. 

He tied Arin into a frog tie, his heels digging into his thighs - which couldn't have been comfortable. Arin's wrists were tied to his knees, forcing his hands flat on his knees. 

Brian made sure the knots were tight enough to leave marks - he knew how much Arin loved getting marks - and then he sat back. 

It was uncomfortable, but not predicament bondage yet. 

Which led to Brian's brilliant idea.

Well, okay, he'd been sitting on this idea for a while now, but he was finally having a chance to implement it.

Arin froze when Brian began to loop the new piece of rope around and around the base of his cock, around his balls as well, until it was a bit like an impromptu cock ring. 

Brian carefully looped the rope around Dan's hair, grateful it had been tied back, so that he had a handy place to tie it off.

"You tied my dick to my hair," Arin said, in an incredulous but slightly impressed voice. 

"I didn't tell you to speak," Brian said sharply, and Arin shrank back. 

His cock twitched in its ropy confines. 

“If you speak out of turn again, I’m going to gag you,” Brian warned.

“Yes, sir,” said Arin thickly.

His cock was well and truly hard now, purple at the head, swollen and dripping pre down the shaft.

Brian was going to have to wash his rope, after all of this was done.

Brian forced Arin’s legs further apart, and he dug his knuckles into Arin’s inner thighs.

Arin sobbed sharply, and Brian glanced up at Arin’s face, watching the way that it crumpled up, Arin’s teeth digging into his lower lip, Arin’s knees trying to press together.

Brian punched him, two knuckles extended, and the metal inside of the gloves was enough to make the muscle move, just a bit.

Arin grunted, and Brian did it again, on the other thigh.

Arin wasn’t going to be able to wear shorts for a while. Shorts, or a tank top. 

“Oh!” 

Another punch, high up, towards Arin’s groin, and Arin tried to squirm away.

Of course, every time he moved his head, it yanked at his cock, and that couldn’t have been comfortable, because he made a pained face each time. 

“You’re not even gonna say thank you?” Brian gave another vicious punch, more knuckle than anything else, and Arin curled forward, panting heavily, his face screwed up. 

“It hurts,” Arin said, his voice ragged.

“Of course it fucking hurts,” Brian snapped. “You wanted it to hurt, so I fucking _delivered_ , didn’t I?” 

He kept punching, the rhythm keeping up with his own heartbeat, the thud thud thud filling his head, his breath keeping time. 

Arin’s cock was tender and sore, twitching in time with the hits, and he was sobbing raggedly. 

There was some… there was some rage mixed in there, and Brian wasn’t really aware of it, because everything in his head was quiet, everything in his head was calm, and he was even remembering to keep the smile off of his face, for once, so that he wasn’t ruining his domly demeanor. 

This… this made it worth it. Almost.

If he could lose himself in the pain - the pain in his knuckles, the pain evident on Arin’s face, the pain that was throbbing through his head - then maybe not getting to be sweet and fun and silly was worth it. 

Maybe.

He didn’t want to think too hard on it. 

He paused in his punching, to dig his knuckles into Arin’s thighs, and Arin cried out, jerking his head back.

Which yanked on the rope that was holding his cock, which yanked on his hair, which apparently was another whole feedback loop of pain, because now Arin was crying, really crying, the kind of ugly, snotty crying that they rarely show on television. 

Arin was bawling, as Brian just kept hurting him, the rhythm hypnotic, syncing up with his breathing. 

Arin’s inner thighs were swollen, already starting to turn purple, and when Brian paused, digging his thumb into one particularly spectacular bruise, Arin hunched forward and sobbed. 

“Fuck, please,” Arin sobbed. “ _Please_!” 

“Please what?” Brian grabbed at Arin’s hair, yanked it back, forcing the rope around Arin’s cock to pull tighter, forcing a desperate cry out of Arin. 

“My face! Please, my face, hurt my face, please break my face, please, _please!_ ”

Brian blanched.

Face hitting?

That was dangerous. And… seriously dangerous. Not the kind of dangerous like rope was dangerous, but the kind of dangerous that could do bad, permanent damage.

Then Arin turned his face up, and it was red, tear stained, and Brian wanted nothing so much as his own bruise on that skin, turning it purple, leaving finger marks that showed that he was here, that Arin was his.

If he was in his right mind, he would have known this was a really stupid fucking idea.

But he wasn’t.

So he drew his hand back, and he backhanded Arin across the face, as hard as he could. 

That was a mistake. 

“Red!” Arin bellowed. “Red, red, no, stop!”

Guilt came crashing down on Brian, like an anvil to the head, like a tidal wave. 

“Are you alright?” Brian cupped Arin’s face, his big tough dom persona momentarily forgotten.

Arin laughed, unsettled, and when he leaned forward, there was… there was blood.

There was blood coming out of his nose, practically gushing, and the places where the knuckles of the sap gloves had connected were already turning a dark purple.

Arin was going to very clearly have a marked up face.

Oh _no_. 

Brian had fucked up. 

He had really fucked up, he’d fucked up badly.

Not only had he marked up Arin’s face, he’d made Arin say his safe word - a good dominant wasn’t supposed to even need a safe word, according to Ariel. He was supposed to just be able to read Arin. 

Which meant he was even more of a failure than he thought he was.

But he had to keep it together, at least as long as Arin was here. He could do his own thing when Arin left, he could cry, he could do whatever, but he had to be strong, right now.

“I’m going to untie you now,” Brian said, slowly and carefully. 

Arin gave a shaky thumbs up, still shaking and vacant. He was bleeding from the nose, and he was breathing slowly, still at least somewhat in some kind of headspace.

* * * 

Brian untied the rope around Arin’s dick first, letting Arin’s hair flop free. 

Against all odds, Arin was still hard.

He undid the ropes around Arin’s thighs next, and even more guilt hit him, as he saw the marks that he had left all over Arin’s legs. The bruises from the punching, the abrasions from the rope. Holy fuck, he’d….

He’d done a real number on Arin, and he didn't know how he was going to deal with this, because… because he had enjoyed it. 

Fuck, what kind of monster was he?

* * * 

Brian was on autopilot, as he gave Arin ice for his face, as he brought him a bottle of water and a painkiller, as he helped stop the nosebleed.

Arin had cheered up, perking up. 

Brian was still wearing the gloves.

He pulled them off, as Arin pulled his underwear on.

Brian’s knuckles were black and blue, tender, swollen. It hurt to bend his fingers too much, and he winced when he stretched his hands out.

Arin was on cloud nine, talking, laughing. 

“Holy shit,” Arin croaked, and his throat was sore. “That was _amazing_.” 

“Which bit?” Brian’s voice was mechanical. 

Arin was apparently still on cloud nine, and didn’t actually notice Brian’s distance, which was uncomfortable as hell, but Brian was a bit too far gone to deal with it at that moment. 

“All of it,” said Arin. “Except the bit where you hit my face with the sap gloves. That… that was kinda scary.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” said Brian, still mechanical. 

He was very far off from his own feelings. He was very far off from anything.

“I’m gonna head home,” said Arin, “unless you want me to blow you or something?” Arin raised an eyebrow. 

“No,” Brian said. “I think I’ll be good.” He kissed Arin, handed him a clean shirt. “You have fun with Suzy.”

“She’s gonna be fucking impressed,” said Arin. He was practically buzzing, excited and bubbly, riding his endorphin high. 

Brian’s hands were throbbing like a separate heartbeat, and he was going to have to ice them pretty soon. 

He didn’t want to do that in front of Arin. 

“Well,” said Arin, and he kissed Brian, “we should totally do that again.”

Brian didn’t say anything, just kissed Arin and hugged him tightly, trying to keep from shaking. He took in Arin’s familiar scent, and he tried not to cry. 

Goddamn it. 

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” Arin said, and then he was bending down, kissing Brian on the forehead. 

Brian stood in his empty apartment, and he shook. 

* * * 

Two hours later, Brian’s phone buzzed. 

_Dude, you have got to see these bruises!_

Brian, his hands still throbbing, still sitting on his couch and staring into space, stared at his phone. 

His phone buzzed, and once again, he picked it up.

There were Arin’s new bruises; the wings that Brian had punched into him, purple against Arin’s pale skin. Arin’s thighs, the fronts and the back, were a mess of bruises and welts, already turning purple. Brian could faintly make out the shape of his own knuckles.

And Arin’s cheekbone was bruised, his nose a bit puffy, as if he’d gotten hit in the face with a basketball.

Or backhanded by someone wearing sap gloves.

He was a fucking monster.

He didn’t respond, just put his phone down with his shaking, throbbing hands.

He stood up mechanically and went into his bedroom. He wasn’t even thinking as he climbed onto the bed, curling up in a ball on the bed, pulling the covers over himself.

There were tears dripping down his face, puddling into his pillow, but he didn’t pay attention to them. 

He had lost his erection ages ago - thank god, that had been… that had been the final bit of humiliation, proof of how horrible he was as a person.

He’d gotten an erection from hurting Arin. From making him bleed.

He was turned on by hurting someone else, and that… that couldn’t be good. Couldn’t be normal. Wasn’t that one of the signs of being a serial killer? 

He was torn in two - if he wanted to keep making Arin happy, he had to keep this up. But if he wanted to keep his own conscience going, he had to stop.

But he was happy, in a weird way. He wanted to express it more - to be fun and goofy and silly with his boyfriend, to do kink the way he did with Dan. 

But that wouldn’t work wit D/s, would it? 

Brian sighed, and the sigh turned into a sob, as he kept the blanket wrapped around himself, the pain in his hands and the heaviness in his heart a constant reminder of what he had done wrong. 

* * * 

Brian was startled out of his reverie by a sound from the doorway of his room.

Nobody else was here. 

He was alone. 

Except someone else was here, because someone had just cleared their throat. 

Brian sat up, and there was Dan, standing lit up like a goddamn angel from the light of the living room.

“Dude,” said Dan, “is it okay if I come in?”

“How did you get in here?” Brian sat up slowly, rubbing his red eyes, and he sighed, leaning back into the pillows behind him. 

“I have a key,” said Dan. “And, uh, I brought Arin.”

Another stab of guilt.

Although Arin looked pretty guilty himself.

“Hi,” said Arin, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Can we come in.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“I, uh….” Arin took a deep breath, and shouldered past Dan, so that he was sitting next to Brian on the bed, looking nervous. “I… you know how you’ve been going to that one person to teach you how to be a good dominant?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I talked to a friend of mine, I just found out that she’s in the scene, and I was telling her about the stuff we did tonight, and she was… she kinda said that when I described what happened with you, after you hit me, it sounded kinda like top drop.” He cleared his throat. “And… she told me some other stuff.”

“Other stuff?”

What the heck was Top drop? Brian had seen a lot of information on Sub drop, Bottom drop, but nothing about Top Drop. 

It wasn’t like a Top was taking the pain or anything.

Brian’s knuckles throbbed their disagreement. 

“Is it okay if we stay?” Arin cleared his throat. “I mean, you can say no, but -”

“You can stay,” Brian said.

“Can I turn a light on?” Dan stepped in himself, looking nervous.

“Yeah,” Brian said. “Yeah, go for it.”

That… spaciness, the dissociation, it was starting to fade away.

To be replaced with more shame, and embarrassment. 

Oh, fuck. 

Not only was he a horrible human being who got off on the pain of other human beings, but he wasn’t even a good enough Dominant to not bother his Submissive with his own stupid emotions. 

“Holy fuck, dude,” said Arin, when the lights flickered on. He was staring down at Brian’s hands. “What the fuck?!”

“Dude,” said Dan, and he took Brian’s hands into his own, carefully, looking down at Brian’s knuckles. “What happened?!”

“The sap gloves,” Brian said thickly. “The force of my hits… was pushing the metal in them back into my hands. It seems to have left them a bit bruised up.”

“A bit bruised? Jesus Christ, Bri.” 

Dan stood up, and he left the room.

Arin looked down at Brian’s hands, and he winced himself. 

“Fuck,” Arin said, and he looked… genuinely sorry. “I didn’t even notice. Fuck. I am _so_ sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Brian said, and he sighed heavily. “I… I don’t think I’m cut out to be a good Dominant for you, Arin.”

“What? Why?” Arin looked genuinely shocked, and... hurt, which wasn’t what Brian had expected. 

“I’m… weak,” Brian said. “I can’t be serious all the time, I can’t be… I’m a bad person.”

“What makes you think you’re a bad person?” 

Dan came back in with ice cubes in a ziploc, wrapped in a towel. He took Brian’s hands in his own, and he rested the ice on them, as Brian sighed, the cold already permeating the aching joints. 

“I… I liked hurting you,” said Brian. “I… if I wasn’t feeling so guilty, I’d totally have a fucking boner, just from seeing those bruises. I like it when you’re in pain. That… that can’t be a good thing. That can’t be safe. That can’t be healthy.”

“I told you,” Dan said, and he prodded Brian in the side, “it just means you’re a sadist.”

“Dude,” Arin said, “in case you didn’t notice, I _like_ pain.” 

“Even to that extent?”

“Holy fuck, yeah,” said Arin. “I mean, did you miss the fact that I came just from you hurting me?”

“You were also humping the bed,” Brian said, and he tried curling his fingers. 

Ow.

“Well, okay, yeah,” said Arin, looking a bit embarrassed, “but it was you hurting me that got me there in the first place.” 

“You don’t have to be serious either,” said Dan. He looked a bit sheepish. “I was, uh, I was talking to Ariel. I didn’t realize just how full of shit they are.”

“... what?” Brian looked at Dan, genuinely baffled.

“I mean, they know their shit when it comes to doing the, like, physical stuff. Especially judging by how well you’ve taken to rope and shit,” said Dan. “But I was talking to them, and they were going on and complaining about how much they hated “fifty shades” people who don’t don’t take the lifestyle seriously. And I was like, c’mon, it’s a bunch of people wearing weird clothes and hitting each other with stuff. It’s no different than doing, like, Live Action Role Playing or some shit like that.”

Arin began to laugh, and that brought on Brian’s own laughter, in spite of himself. 

Some kind of weight was lifted off of his chest, slowly.

“But… I thought you wanted me to make you feel small and helpless and whatnot,” said Brian. 

“You don’t have to be, like, super serious all the time,” said Arin. “You manage to do it when we’re doing Grump episodes together, and... honestly?” He looked bashful. “I was starting to get a bit weirded out. By the fact that, like, you didn’t make jokes or whatever, you were just kinda super serious all the time.”

“I thought you liked it,” Brian said. 

“I mean,” Arin said, “I kinda did? I guess because it was different?” He stared up at the ceiling, clearly trying to get his words out in the right order. “Like… everything we were doing was different, so I thought that maybe this was kinda part of the things being different.” 

“You’ve also kinda been… frenzied,” said Dan.

“Frenzied?” Brian raised an eyebrow.

Arin blushed harder.

“Like… I’ve been really into what _you_ could do for me, and I didn’t really stop to think about what _I_ could do for _you_. Or even what you wanted.”

“... you’ve got a point there,” said Brian, and his own embarrassment was making his face turn pink. “I’ve… kind of been resenting the fact that we keep doing stuff you wanna do.”

“Please,” Arin said, “please, tell me what you want. I feel guilty, if it’s just all about me.” He bit his lip, squirming. “And… I think it’s hot, doing things that make you happy, because they make you happy.”

“What if they’re things that aren’t as… extreme as you want?” Brian licked his lips. 

“If they made you happy, I think I’d be okay with them,” said Arin.

Brian smiled, genuinely touched.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner,” he said. 

“It’s alright,” said Arin. 

Dan had an arm wrapped around Brian’s middle, resting his chin on Brian’s shoulder, nuzzling into Brian’s neck. 

The ice was wonderful on Brian’s knuckles. 

“I think… I think, after I beat you up, I need you to tell me it’s alright,” Brian said, his voice halting. “I end up feeling guilty, because I hurt you to the degree that I did, and if I do that, I end up feeling like… maybe a serial killer in training, or something like that.” 

“I can totally do that,” said Arin. “Do you think you could go back to being, like… sarcastic and making jokes and shit?” 

“What, even while I’m hurting you or tying you up or ordering you around or whatnot?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Arin. “Definitely.” He grinned. “I miss my boyfriend.”

Brian blinked back tears. 

Goddamn it.

Maybe he was dealing with Top drop or whatnot. 

If he was getting this emotional.

“How about we order some food and watch a movie?” Dan’s voice cut through both of them, rather ruining the atmosphere, but probably for the best. 

Brian had lost enough of his dignity for one evening. He didn’t need any more.

“Sounds good,” said Arin. “Uh… do you happen to have any more ice?”

Dan snorted, and a little swell of pride rose up in Brian’s chest. 

Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. 

* * * 

A month went by.

“So, uh, you know my friend who told me off for being a jerk?” 

Brian, running his fingers through Arin’s hair, looking down at him. “What about her?” 

“She’s invited us to a rope bite.” Arin leaned back against Brian, his head resting on Brian’s thighs. 

Brian liked Arin down there like that.

They’d talked some more - about scenes, about limits, about what each of them was comfortable with.

It turned out, Brian could be a Dominant. He could be a comfortable Dominant, who cracked jokes, who kept some kind of protocol.

Arin liked to please, and sometimes pleasing meant bending over to get his ass beaten, and sometimes pleasing meant allowing Brian to brush his hair and cuddle him.

It wasn’t exactly what either of them had pictured, but it was a lot more… enjoyable.

Brian was genuinely _enjoying_ the whole Dominant thing - the chance to be bossy, to make bad jokes, to nurture, to inflict pain when he had the chance. 

It wasn’t a burden.

It was a joy.

And that energy - that terrifying energy, that had run through him every time he hurt Arin - he was learning how to use it. How to control it.

How to control himself. 

“You okay?” Arin nudged at Brian’s leg, and Brian gave his hair a bit of a warning yank.

He liked the way that Arin whimpered. 

“Yeah, just lost in thought,” said Brian. “So what’s a rope bite?”

“It’s a rigging party,” said Arin. “A bunch of other rope people, tying each other up, practicing, stuff like that.”

“Could be fun,” said Brian, although a stab of anxiety went through him. 

What if other people saw his lackadaisical Domination style, and judged him for it?

Then he forced himself to calm down. 

Because fuck it.

He made his living dressing up like a ninja and singing songs about boners. If people judging him for that didn’t bother him, why should people judging him for something like that way he did BDSM with his boyfriend bother him? 

“Let’s do it,” said Brian. 

Arin looked at him upside down, and he grinned. 

* * * 

The rope bite took place in Arin’s friend’s apartment.

She was a tall black woman, and her name was Naomi. 

“Hi,” said Brian, and she smiled at him.

“Hi,” said Naomi. “You ready for some rope shit?”

“I hope it’s not rope shit,” called a woman from behind her, who was already half tied up by another person, a middle aged black man with a ponytail. “That sounds painful.”

“I swear to fucking god, Sparky, I am going to suspend you upside down from my shower rod,” Naomi said. She was grinning.

The woman being tied up, Sparky, had an afro and was wearing bright red lipstick. She grinned, then began to cackle. 

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Do you see what I have to put up with?” Naomi made an exaggerated annoyed face. “But yeah. Find yourself a spot. No sexual stuff, if you’re naked sit on a towel or a puppy pad, if you’re touching someone’s junk, wear gloves, we’ve got latex and nonlatex.” Naomi rubbed her hands together. She looked pleased as punch, which was always a good sign. “And have fun!”

“We’ll do our best,” Arin said earnestly.

“How are those bruises of yours?”

“Pretty much healed,” said Arin. 

“You do good work,” Naomi said to Brian. “You gotta show me your trick to get those knuckle marks some time.”

“I, uh… sure.”

This was so, _so_ different from the stern sterility of Ariel’s apartment, of Ariel’s lesson.

He set up under a hard point, and he tossed the rope through it, standing on tiptoe to get it even. Then he looked at Arin.

“Shirt off.”

“Do I even get a please?”

“I dunno, do ya?” 

Arin rolled his eyes. 

There was a cackle of laughter, and they both looked over their shoulders, a bit surprised. 

Naomi was pinching Sparky, going for her sides, and Sparky was cackling, trying to get away, as the man who had been tying her held her up by the shoulders. 

Arin grinned, raising an eyebrow. 

“So kink is serious business, huh?” He offered his wrists, so that Brian could them them together, then hoist them up.

“It is the most serious business,” Brian said, deadpan. 

He prodded Arin in the side - the bruises on his back were almost completely gone, but for the faint purple splotches, and his thighs looked more or less normal. 

His face had healed first, thank god. 

“Yeah? More serious than… more serious than death?” 

“More serious than taxes,” Brian intoned, as he began to tie a harness around Arin’s chest. 

Naomi wandered over, and she admired Brian’s work.

“You know what’d be really evil?” She kept her tone conversational, as Brian tied off the last knot, to admire his handiwork.

“If I tickled him,” said Brian. 

“I like the way you think,” Naomi said in an approving tone of voice.

Arin grinned at Brian, but his expression was a tad nervous. 

It was his turn to shriek with laughter, as Brian tickled his ribs. 

Some of the other people turned around to see what all the ruckus was about - several of them grinned, and a few called out suggestions. 

Brian was smiling, and he was laughing, and Arin was smiling, and he was still smiling, when Brian got up on his tiptoes and kissed him, grin against grin.

It wasn’t all serious.

Thank god (or whatever was or wasn’t up there) for that!

**Author's Note:**

> This is _not_ how you do BDSM. At all. The dynamic exhibited here is incredibly unhealthy, and I do not endorse this in any way, shape, or form. 
> 
> Talk to your partners about your limits! 
> 
> Like this fic? Check out my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com! I've got a ton of other stuff, & I take requests!


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